I’m so close.

Now I know God is beside me at all times, and goes with me wherever I go…but sometimes I wish I could physically see Him. Although I know His presence is always there, I seem to forget when things of the world get in my way. As materialistic items and worldly thoughts start to distract me I start to lose sight that He is RIGHT there. Watching me. Let me rephrase, watching over me! Now I know a lot of christians have a pretty definite opinion on whether or not its okay to indulge in drinking. The arguments are endless. Gosh. But its hard to know where that line is really drawn. At times I feel like its okay…but recently any time I have the tiniest smidge of anything I feel soo guilty! Why the heck is this happening? Sucks. I will have a glass of wine and yet I will have what seems to be this huge burden sitting on my shoulders. Like I’ve done something wrong! Or how bout this, I wont drink at all and go out to a bar and feel like I’m betraying my God. Is it hurting Him that I’m there? Cause I am here to honor and glorify Him…but at the same time I’m to go out and reach the ones who don’t know Christ as their savior! So confusing. Why am I feeling this way? I’ve got to be doing something wrong!! I want to lead, to be an example. But I don’t want to stay in this comfortable little box of mine where His word isn’t being heard. Not gonna lie, I do like feeling safe. But I need to be pushed! People aren’t gonna see Christ unless its shown. Through actions, thoughts, or words. Sorry if I’m repeating myself in these past few blogs. Its obviously still heavy on my heart!

On a much lighter note I’m happy! Oh so happy! God is definitely working in my life and I can’t wait to see what He has in store for me! Also the fair is coming up…and if you remember from last year, I’M OBSESSED! Its kind of embarrassing. To be so fond of  rides, rednecks, farm animals, and funnel cakes! Idk what does it, but I cant resist! Soooo closeeeee! Eeek! Oh and school started on monday and so far so good. Lets hope for all A’s right? HA. yeah right. But my fingers are crossed so we’ll see! Painting class has started and man is it gonna be hard, HOLY! stressful. I’ll keep ya’ll posted with assignments and how well they are actually turning out. But do something crazyy today and until next time think of this…

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