What a mess.
I feel like my life has decided to take a shortcut and ended up lost.
Not sure what to think really or what I should be doing to fix it, but I can tell you that I’ve noticed a change. Good change..maybe, bad change…possibly. The problem lies in the situation and I cant really decide if the situation is good or bad. For those of you who dont already know, or dont talk to me enough to find out…I have officially moved in with my boyfriend ryan! Yupp, i said it. MOVED IN. I’ll wait a couple seconds, let you soak it in, think about it, immediately start opposing, disliking, and disapproving the action. Now, here’s the thing. If your gonna have any words said…whether they be to yourself of someone else, I’d also like them said to me! I know people are talking and I know word is spreading like wildfire. Its a hot topic, im aware. But this is all new to me. Whether it be a bad decision or not it was my decision to make and I made it. Get over it. Who cares if I made the wrong one. I’ll just go from here and learn from my mistakes. But it’d be nice to have some advice, pointers, tips, or just support. I feel I have noone to talk to, no one who wants to listen, or just be there to say hey Im here if ya need anything. Its whatever though. I dont mind being in this alone. And who’s to say it was wrong. In my eyes it seems perfectly reasonable. I practically live over here, we’re always together, and it seems smarter to be able to split the rent rather than him paying it all himself anyways. If I feel like we’re gonna be together in the end, then why not start building on that relationship now? I understand that morally its tempting and taunting at the chance of us having sex before we’re married. But lets be real, if we’ve both waited this long why screw it up? We’ve got a great thing going are getting to really know each other before any other big decisions are made. Its a closer and deeper friendship. Like living with your best friend…who just happens to be of the opposite sex..and the person you love!
So now that the big news is outta the way lets talk about life! School is almost over…thank sweet baby Jesus…and my walk with Christ just keeps getting better and better! He reveals new things to me each and everyday that help me to be stronger in Him and follow the path He’s set out for me to go down. Can I just say that the long and the narrow path is pretty dang hard. Life will seem to all be going so well then outta no where the devil will just try and get you down and discouraged by throwing obstacles in your way. Lately my attitude has been AWFUL! So thankful I have such an amazing boyfriend to put up with my crap. Hopefully that whole phase is over and done with though cause I hate being cranky. And feel awful for those around me. Still working on my patience and short temper, sadly I’m pretty sure I took that after my dad. Out of all his admirable qualities I pick one of the few I despised growing up, yay me! Friend wise, I pray the Lord brings new christian friends my way. He says we’re to have fellowship on a daily basis and I feel like I have none. Problem. My only true friends seem to be far and in between! On top of all this I miss my best friend taylor! A.k.a my old roommate! We had so many fun and exciting adventures together, and I dont want to lose that spontaneousness! I love it! I live for it! It’s what Im all about. In the moment. Dont look back. Just go for it! That crazy adventurous wild side that is up for anything at anytime. I haven’t really had that in my life the past few weeks and I need it desperately! To live up these college years and take full advantage of all the time I have!
I guess for now I’ll leave ya’ll with this update. Thanks for listening you few of you out there!
P.s. I really really am truly happy! Everything seems to be so perfect! :)