HOLY MOLY GAUCOMOLE!!!! It is SO dang cold outsideeee! Geez louise! I hate when lana scratches at the door. Three fourths of the time its cause she wants to go out and play…one fourth of the time its cause she actually has to go to the bathroom! So with this being the case she most definitely takes advantage of me and usually gets to go out. Even though its 10 degrees below zero outside and she takes her good ole time out there I just cant send her mixed signals by not letting her when she “cries wolf”. Ughh. So dang freakin annoying and pisses me the heck off. Now seeing as how im not a person who reacts in an angry way…I blow up over this! Going around the house screaming mumbo jumbo words just to let out all the steam of me spending a solid 30 minutes chasing my dog back inside. She can be such a brat! its ridiculous. Now for some reason lately i’ve been having awful nightmares. Not the kind that make me scared to sleep in the dark, but the kind where the happily ever after ending falls apart. Where something or another happens between me and my boyfriend and i end up all alone. Lonely, scared, and emptier than ever before. I know it shouldn’t affect anything in our relationship, but I feel like it is. I get scared now during happy moments to actually be happy cause that just means im becoming closer and closer to him. Which also means Im more vulnerable in the end. Gosh I haven’t been like this in such a long time. It sucks. I want these bad dreams to just go away. I cant take living life like he’s gonna leave. I dont even wanna think about it. I wont let the devil in my mind or my dreams! It’s satan talking and i wont have it.
On a different note, school starts back tomorrow! Gosh. excited, but not excited. 15 hours on top of a 40 hour work week. A little too much, but we’ll see how I do! I have 3 classes with a good friend jessica which will be nice, and I do have a joke of a major…but I still feel like with all the busy work I’m going to go into overload! Ha. Lana Rae is getting HUGEEE! Oh my gosh! it’s crazyy! Just the other day she was so little and tiny and now she’s gigantic! It came out of nowhere too! I thought I’d never see the day when she wasnt a little girl, and now I wish those days were back! Other than all that, life’s pretty dang AMAZINGG! I really couldnt ask for anything more. God is looking out for us and will continually provide! :)