It’s not my plan.

So,
I have this thing where I think ideas are mine, and run with them! ha.
About halfway down the road I realize I have no idea where I’m even going…why?
Oh wait, cause it wasnt my plan to begin with. it’s HIS!
I can’t predict the destination if I don’t the route!
So this is me. Humbling myself. To the King of Kings. My Savior, My Lord.
I neeeeed you.
I need your help.
I need your guidance, your wisdom, your strength.
I want patience, kindness, and JOY that abounds and overflows.
I want to not be afraid.
to not feel alone.
surrounded by your angels and filled with your glory.
Just lead me!
I give it all to you!
All of me is yours!

Morning Dew.

Well…currently 6:15Am and I am wide awake. A miracle right? Haha. For some odd reason I cant go back to bed. Its cool though, I dont get to see the world at this time of day much often. The walls are slowly starting to turn a light shade of blue as the sun creeps its way into my room. And the ambiance of birds are getting louder and clearer as time passes. Not gonna lie, I kinda love this! I’ve got that messy morning look goin on and a fresh brewed vanilla coffee in my lap. Which by the way…best coffee I’ve made to date in this new house! Yumm! Ha. But right now life seems to be easy. Like I can handle anything. Or more like an innocence to this day! The world doesn’t look harsh. It looks mild, calm, and sort of fully rested in a weird kinda way! And of all things a red robin just landed on my window sill. Idk how often all of you see a red robin, but in my case its practically never! Ha. So in the rare chance that I do…it seems like a little glimpse of God in my life! Let me enlighten you…In my old small group we would start off by talking about kisses from the King. And when I say kisses from the King I mean a little reminder that God is watching over us, or something that He did in our week to get our attention and let us know that He is there! For me, a red robin has always been one of those things! Even though they are just a bird, let’s go beyond that fact and look at how I see them. To me they are incredible! Not a common bird. One who leads and not follows. They are strong birds. They sit perched watching all the other birds with their chest up and head out. Like a watchman. Always alert and aware. And their color, so vibrant, so noticeable! It dares you to look and awe at the fact that God could have made such a beautiful creature! I know, I know…its a bird! But to me it reminds me of who God wants me to be! How he wants me to respond. How He wants me to lead. So with my kiss from the King today I hope you go out having a GREAT day and notice your kiss from the KIng this week! Please share as a comment if you care to!

Gracious Giver.

Lord lift me higher, bring me into your presence! Your mercy, your grace, your hope, your peace. Work in me. Use me and teach me. I long to draw closer to you! I can do all things through you who gives me strength. When I’m weak, you pick me up. When I’m broken, you love me. Unconditionally. Unfold your love in my life. Help me to be patient and kind. Humble and strong. I long to desire you! Be my strong tower. Your grace is pouring out into my life…over and abundant! Im ready to live the joyful life you have laid out before me. I want to follow in your footsteps and be who you made me to be! I want to shine that light you lit in me! Be my savior, be my father!

Role Playing.

Sometimes it feels like people are just role playing. Actually that everyone’s role playing. Life’s one big performance and everyone is picking anc choosing their parts. Like they have decided in their head who they want to be. Not who they actually are…but a combination of images, personalities and characteristics that they think themselves to be. What they wish they were, or what they have deceived themselves into actually being. When does it all stop? The lies. The fakeness. The confusion. It MUST be tiring. Sometimes they start to forget what day it is and the personality they’re supposed to be playing. Which then creates more confusion to the person watching it all fall apart. Do they know we know? That some days they are the put together, got it all under control dont need your help role…then turn around later that day and are needy, never can do it, please help me role. It’s quite complicated. Maybe they dont even realize it happening. That they are playing the role of someone that they are not. It just seems so wrong. Like trying to fit a square in a circle, or a puzzle piece in the space of another piece. Is it cause they dont know they have a purpose? That they were created they were created for a reason! There’s a bigger plan than us. And it all works together perfectly! Oh well…I guess I’ll just let them be who they wanna pretend to be until it all starts to become mundane. A life living for nothing. Emptiness. Sadness. Depression. Let’s hope we arrive to that point soon! Or else…there might not be enough time!