in this moment.

No regrets.
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New Obsession.
Elbow Patches.
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Once an artist.
Always an artist.
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Caught in a ray of sunshine! Blessed by God!
Can’t stop smiling, couldn’t be happier.
tumblr_llymw98pzo1qh588j_largeCan’t wait to be married one day.
Every girl’s dream.
To be unconditionally loved.
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SEVEN more days till my new HOME. 3429361297_c579e0d6ea_thumb

KEEP A SECRET…NEW TATTOO=April 15th.



PICTURE this…

Well, well, well….it’s been quite a bit since I’ve talked to you! Ha. Life has been so crazy, exciting, happy, sad, JOYFUL, emotional, and mostly exhausting. I haven’t really been living true to my tattoo and PAUSEing. Ugh, it can just be so hard…when everything else surrounding you is go go go go. I feel like no matter what Im always trying to catch up! Thank JESUS it is finally summer!!!! Yayy! Ahh, what a blessing in itself! So sundays around here are family days, and man do i LOVE sundays. I could cry right now thinking about it…they’re so joyful and happy, and careless, and an abundance of never-ending loveeee!! It fills my heart with all the missing pieces from throughout the week, the true meaning of family kicks in and everyone comes together to just BE. whether it be just watching tv in the same room, or catching up on weekly stories, grilling out, playing board games, or even(i cant believe im saying this) disc golfing together…no matter the activity it brings my family even closer together and fills my heart with love and compassion and support, in which i need all! I think i might be going through a rough patch in my life. Now dont fret, its nothing to worry bout, stop that,,, i can see you worrying through my computer screen!! haha. mom. but just a spot in my life where Jesus is trying to bring be to a better and closer relationship with Him, and in order to do so Im being tested, drilled, questioned….how bad do you want Me? How bad do you want this? how bad to you want others to join with us in My Kingdom? Gosh, and when Jesus brings a challenge the devil sends an army. he wont win. he never does. My God is STRONGER than all of this!! And the best part is He’s on MY SIDE! :) HA! take that. But really,,,it’s been a struggle…but I will make it through all of this, its just hard right now! I feel like ive been someone who im not and apologize to all those who know me and love me. Im not trying to hurt you or push you away, its just been hard. And the devil CAN and WILL find any way to destroy anything good in my life. And i know im not fighting this alone, but sometimes it feels like it. so its hard to take anyones perspective cause they dont know what Im going through. Ahh, gosh, life on earth….such a joke. I cant waitttt to be in heaven! No worries, no stress, just JESUS! gonna be GLORIOUS!! SO while you’ve been gone, LOTS has happened.
PICTUREEEE TIMEEE!

We had a birthday,
MY BEST FRIENDDDS BIRTHDAYY!
TAYS 22 BIRTHDAYWISHES.
the JIMMY(mycar) broke

LanaRae got spayed.
Look at her all INNOCENT!
INNOCENT. my food for april was chicken quesadillas,homemade guacamole,
and homemade banana pudding! mhmm, yeah is right! i hope your mouth is watering! haha.

GUACAMOLE.

BANANA PUDDING.QUESADILLAS.
we had a doggie pool day, and gosh was it sooo much funn!!

I got new TOMS!!
YAYYY!
I rearranged my room!

ME & TAY HAD MUSTACHE ADVENTURES!!!

hahahahaha. bustedd.our mustache wall!
and of course everyday with this guy makes me smile even MORE! :)
couldn't be more BLESSED!

In His Arms.

In his arms I feel safe, in his arms I feel comfort, in his arms I feel strength, in his arms I feel love. Rushing through me from my emotions in my head to the tips of my tippy toes. Laying there I cant imagine wanting to be in anywhere else…but in his arms. It’s as if nothing else matters anymore, as if the world has paused for a moment and all is calm. As I’m bundled and perfectly molded to fit in his shapes and curves of sleep I feel like nothing can hurt me. That there is no darkness. There is no devil. And nothing is able to scare me. For those reading this who dont know me, Im very much afraid of fear, of darkness, and of anything that could possibly resemble an evil thing of this world. Whether it be a scary movie I watch or even just bits and pieces of a commercial for a scary movie…I just cant take it. That’s when HIS arms are around me telling me that He is there and He is my savior!

“The Lord will watch over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy” Psalm 145:20

So back on a positive note…Im just growing closer and closer to Ryan. At times there are faults, but I think thats just part of getting closer to someone. I start to find out more and more about him and then I get comfortable and realize his strengths, his weaknesses, what makes him mad, what makes him happy and use all those new found facts in ways that aren’t even intentional. Some can be good, and some are bad. But all together I lovee him so much and am so happy that I have him by my side. He never ceases to make me happy and constantly smiling. Yeah everyone has their moments of failing.But I just gotta look past all that and see how much the good days outweigh the bad or just so so days. With tax return coming up anytime now I couldnt be more EXCITED!!! Ahh time to treat myself, finally. Haha. Also my 21 BIRTHDAY!! Gosh, right around the corner. Hello World! Last great birthday till Im over the hill. Ha. Lets make it good! :) Other than all that craziness Im hoping to get off work to go to a conference with my best friendd/roommate taylor! Its her mom speaking in north carolina! ding ding! Girl time/sleepovers/retail therapy/cute coffee shops/downtown/poloroid pictures. Can you say HOLLA! Oh speaking of job, I got a new one! At a sports bar called Double Dogs! T-shirt, jeans, sneaks, and my NOSE PIERCING! Finallyyyy! Gosh I missed that sucker. Getting it re-pierced this sunday, thank sweet baby Jesus! But pretty excited about the new atmosphere, but a tiny but nervous. So here’s to my second day training!
Ya’ll have an AMAZINGG DAY!
PAUSE and let you light SHINE!
<3 <3 <3

Here’s to life!

Man oh man…
Well life sure has been interesting!
We’ve all been up and we’ve all been down.
Happy moments and crying ones.
God has to truly be moving in all of our lives…
Recently me and my roommate taylor have started her moms new book called Choosing Joy! Gosh, such an incredible blessing that devotional has been! Each day we’ve learned to keep our heads up and not let the things of this world get us down! The little anger moments, or ungrateful moments, or moments where people can be so rude, hateful, or mean. Those are all the moments where the devil has a open door to just come in and steal all our joy! It’s been so hard. The Lord is getting to do something BIG and I cant wait to see what it is! The devil has been testing us and its literally been one of the hardest things I’ve had to deal with in my life! I can’t so it alone either! With the support and fellowship and my best friends and my boyfriend I’ve been slowly dragging myself through the past couple of days! To put things into perspective…lets start with my best friend taylors roommate moved out. Yepp, the one who moved in to where I could live with Ryan. Well she’s gone now and it feels like all hell is braking loose! Drama drama drama, is all I have to say…for now at least! Long story really short, she is now gone and Im moving back in with taylor, Leaving Ryan alone. But thankfully not alone anymore, one of his good buddies is moving and and hopefully will turn out for the best! When I say best I mean not get on each others last nerve and live peacefully within the same confines. But so far so good. I have successfully moved all my things over and his new roommate is slowly moving all his stuff in! Cha-chingg! holla. All is good again right? HA. yeah right. Work has been awful! No business, so slow, and making little to no money. Getting cut after only being there for an hour and only having one table just sucks. Or having to be there all night and close and getting stiffed twice. You pick…either or both suck. How bout we talk about how incredibly hard it has been on my heart moving out! Holy moly good gracious alive! Its almost as if I had lost my boyfriend, best friends, and every loving family member…thats how bad. Im not sure why its not just easy to go back to the way it was before, but moving in with him just made us that much closer. I feel like it made us closer, stronger, and more loving as a couple. And now that Im having to leave that it feels like my hearts just being ripped out. Or that Im losing my best friend. Thankfully God has been there through all of this and setting aside my emotional wreck I will be fine and we will both get through this stronger than we were before! Its just gonna take time, and support. As much as its gonna suck, I think in the end we will be so much happier. And not to mention we still live right next door and are getting a house within the next 6 months. Crazy right? so I think I can manage…maybe. Ha.

So with this joyful looking forward attitude…I would like to say that I cant wait to be living with taylor! Now that we’ve experienced living with others, its now time to put our situation back to the test! Except this time more prepared than before! We know more about each other and our ways and I feel like we’re on the same page again! Holla holla. Thank Jesus for friends! I cant wait to have girls night, sleepovers every night, friends, gossip girl, pretty little liars, paint our nails and straighten our hair,you name it and thats us! So now not only are we reuniting but so are our precious little ones! LanaRae and Bentley are SO excited! Ha. Playtime all the time!

So cross your fingers and say a prayer for us! Cause this is gonna be one heck of a ride…

Clean House.

Man oh man do I lovee a clean house! Gosh it’s just one of the best feelings in the world. Not only is it the sense of accomplishment that I love…but its also the gratification that I started and finished something that is actually noticeable! The process of making a list, and one by one crossing off all things that are getting done is so satisfying to me! It gets me motivated to get off my lazy bum and actually do stuff with my day! New year, new me is what its all about right?! Ha. Well it really does feel like it. I’ve started waking up sooner and having quit time to myself. So lovely! The morning time in general has this sense of sureness already…on top of my blog and a fresh cup of coffee just puts the perfect start to a great day!
On a different note…recently God has been showing me patience. And can I say it has truly been a struggle. I am probably one of the most impatient people in the world. Gosh its like a curse. But for the life of me I cant stand being still. It just kills me. Soo seeing as how I take forever and and day to get ready to go somewhere, I’ve started to realize how patient my boyfriend is with me. When I talk too fast, or cant hear what he’s saying…he calmly and sweetly will say it again or ask me what I was trying to say. Coincidence? I think not! I seems as though God has perfectly timed my asking with His making me aware of how much He truly is showing me. His grace, love, and mercy is abundantly surrounding me and it’s AMAZING!! Other than usual Im off to work in couple of hours and school starts in a week. Eeek! Gosh time flys. One more week of spontaneous craziness! Lehhgo!

ROUGH.

Honest to blog.
With finals here and school winding to an end, it seems that nothing wants to come easy. The family I live with left to the beach and I get to manage their kids to and from, back and forth, morning and night, meals, school, the whole sha-bang. CRAZY is an understatement. I feel pressured. I feel stressed. But I can only imagine everything that this family has to go through on a daily basis. kind of ridiculous. its always something. on another note though…me and my dad got into a fight. story of my life. so not too confident on moving back home now, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see! i’ve given it to the Lord and its in His hands now. So if all were to go as planned,,,i’ll go home, mend that relationship this summer, spend quality time with my family, and make some lasting memories. snappy tomato is treating me well i guess. cant believe Im there for the second time in my working career. just lovely! oh and my boy situation sucks. non existent. blank. empty. doug is dumb & immature. why are guys so good at this game. ugh. makes me sickkkk! slash a new tattoo desire is rising up in meh. hmm, what to get and where to get it is now the question. im pretty sure I would like the verse psalm 145:20 all written out,,,just don’t know where. so exciting!!
SCHOOLS OUT!
SUMMER IS HERE!
LET’S GET ITTT!

BABE CRAZE.

Oh my goodness! This is ridiculous and I need to stop! I’m literally baby CRAZYY! AHH,,,HELP! I wanna have morning sickness and watch my belly grow and hold it as it gets bigger! I want to clichely rest my arms on top of my stomach as I watch GLEE & modern family! I want to waddle around. I want to dress in cute maternity clothes. I want to buy precious adorable baby clothes as I picture what my child will look like! I wanna sit in the house while it raining outside and just rock my babe to sleep! I wanna talk to my stomach and say cute things and listen to the heartbeat bounce up and down. I want lay on the couch and just gaze at my man holding and embracing his new little creation! I want cute photography family portraits in grassy fields! I want a dang baby soooo bad. And why? Well that’s a darn good question! A…I would need a baby daddy, or better yet a husband. Yeah thats it, a husband! haha. But first I gotta start as simple as a boyfriend. Uhh, thats where the problem lies. Why is it that I’m bout to finish my sophomore year of college and still have yet to have a legit boyfriend? And by boyfriend I’m talking…someone who asks me out/it’s official/we’re dating/dinner & movies/holding hands/ actual emotions/hooking up/ THE WHOLE SHAA-BANG! Not just the last one….so sad. my life needs to get it together in the boy department. it’s lagging big time. I feel like it’s not me though. I seriously put myself out there and be myself. I laugh. I fight. I flirt. eh,,,not so much on the flirting. haha. its just not my thing! I mean don’t get me wrong I wish it was…but it’s most definitely not! So that’s now my new thing FLIRTING! haha. however the heckk I can. it’s on!

precious.

Life for the moment.

My life is like a box of chocolates! You never know whatcha gonna get! Haha. Which is crazy funn 24/7! I absolutely love being spontaneous and living in the moment! Now it’s your turn! First off don’t ask questions…JUST DO IT! ALWAYS TAKE PICTURES! Gotta document this craziness! Purchase Wreck This Journal from Urban Outfitters. Next, jump up and down 5 times, 3 jumping jacks, and 1 huge twirl! haha. Don’t you feel so revived! Now all you need to do is skip into the next place you’re going and then think what would you usually do…..and do the opposite! Don’t take the usual way to school or work, change it up. Don’t walk the same way to class maybe you’ll meet new people as you cross different paths. Eat something out of the ordinary! Send out a text to a contact in your phone who hasn’t been in your recent call list! Tell em’ you LOVE them, if there aren’t any people you can find like that, then you need to get rid of half your contacts! ha. Make a list of all the thing you would do if you were given 1 more week to live…and GO DO THEM! NOW! What’s life if you’re not living it to it’s fullest! You only live once and could just as easily get in a car accident tomorrow! Dance, laugh, sing, scream lyrics to your favorite songs, most importantly LIVE, cause LIFE’S TOO SHORT TO LIVE THE SAME DAY TWICE! Lemme know your feedback and comment if you do any of these things! Or decide to live more spontaneously!

LOVE.

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not. I’m sure at some point in our lives we have all done this. Just for fun of course! Because never in a million years would we base whether our guy loves us or not based on pedals from a flower! Right? Or maybe we would…my  theme starts to become should I be with him, should I not, Is it good for me, is it not? Why is love so freakin complicated!! How am I supposed to know who’s right for me? Is God going to tell me? Gosh I sure do hope so! Haha. I honestly think it’ll somewhat be like the movies where I get this ancy warm nervous feeling inside and all I can think about is him. Not to a point where is consumes my life, but enough to make me actually WANT to be with him. haha. Because with me I love the chase, the thrill, the whole adventure and journey of getting the guy to like you….but once I have em’ I dont want em’. As weird as that is! Ha. Once they want me and start texting me non stop is when I tend to not care anymore and dont really feel the need to hangout, cause I honestly dont want to! So I’m just waiting for that ONE PERFECT ONE! To just sweep me off my feet and make me smile without even realizing a have that cute little smirk grinning up my cheeks! Ahh! I cant wait!

SCHOOL=BOYS=WORK.

Well howdy doo there! Wow. It has honestly been forever since the last time I blogged. But hope all is well with everyone! Soo…only 6 more classes and I’m through! Ahh! I’m so freakin excited! For those of you who don’t know me personally I’d like to say that I had a major meltdown a few weeks ago and almost quit everything! I was seriously on the edge of just giving up. When oddly enough my DAD stepped into the picture and encouraged me to keep going! Ding ding! Haha. But for real. It’s nice to have pride in yourself and that feeling of actually getting something that big accomplished on your own! Now>>>this is where school turns into boys! Ha. There was/is the guy last semester that I was really in to! He went to pellissippi and is a HUGE good ole’ Christian boy! LOVE IT. Yada yada yada, long story short I messed things up with him, BUT we are starting to hang as friends again! So who knows where that could lead! :) Then BOYS fade into work. AS ALWAYS! I’m kinda sorta interested in finding out more about this guy that used to go to my school! He seems to be fun, quirky, sweet, and a little sarcastic! Haha which is usually a plus! But I honestly don’t know what I should do! Eeeek! Why so complicated. I figure that the first boyyy needs to come back into my LIFE! Perfect! Plan resolved!

THE RING!

A ring can be many things! It could be a wedding ring, a peach ring, a ring like at the olympics, a ring like a telephone call, or in my case a purity ring! I was sitting in my room reading my english book for class when my dad made his way into my room and asked me to come into the living room when I had a chance. He needed to talk to me about something! Now when I hear the words, “I need to talk to you about something”, I don’t know about you, my brain begins to go into panic mode and thinks of all the things i’ve done wrong or possibly have lied about in the past few weeks! So even thinking that I would be able to finish the story I was reading was a joke. haha. I HAD to know what was going on. So I went into the room only to see my dad just randomly standing in the middle with his arms crossed, which usually indicates that he’s pissed. But no, he simply says look down. So as my eyes begin to work their way to the table I see a little black suede box. Automatically my brain thinks wedding ring! Ha Of course, what else do girls think about! I slowly open the box to see a shimmering shining ring. With 5 small simple, but perfect diamonds! I’m not the type of girl who likes the blingy and huge rings and earrings. No, no, no I’m much more of the simple down to earth kind of girl! Who loves a little pink here and there! :) But it is the most perfect ring I have ever seen! With VS diamonds the clarity is incredible and spectacular! With all this being said, I wonder why did he do this for me? Like me and my dad have never been on the best terms. We just don’t get along and always butt heads with our own opinions! So to think wow, what in the world does the Lord have planned for me and my family?! It says so much that he humbled himself enough to buy an expensive gift for me and to think how much he actually and truly cares! Craziness!

CHANGE.

Hello hello hello! So lately I just haven’t been in the blogging mood…sorry to all my three readers out there! haha. Life’s been crazy lately and time has succeeded in flying by! So just as an update love life=dead. ha. No boys for now, just me and Jesus! Which is completely okay with me. I think time is needed for me to get back in the loop with the J-man. Get my priorities straight and live the way that I should be! Today is going to be a fabulous snowy day! Perfect day for cleaning, doing some homework, and hangin with friends later at Quest! hoot. hoot. What could be better right?! Oh my goodness…so my doctor said I have stomach ulcers slash acid reflux and I have no idea what to do! Like eating wise….im clueless! It sucks so bad & I need advice on what to eat. Like what is there to eat when you can’t have spicy. dairy. nothing fried. no caffeine. no salty things. no chocolate. WOW! that leaves me with potatoes, rice, and peas. haha So peeps…this is point where you come in!

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