The pressure to have titles is killing me. To have a boyfriend. To have a fiancĂ©. To have a husband. What’s the point. Everyone’s giving these temporary people in their life their all. With nothing left for the one who they’ll be with in the end. Such a worldly mess. So I try and weed out all the jerks, the cocky ones, the immature little boys. Which should leave me with the sweet, caring, kind ones right? But no…it leaves no one. The bad boys are too cool to ask and the good boys aren’t smart enough to ask. For the rare few who do decide to take on the risk and ask,,,I always decline. Just my personality. Why do I push boys away. I want someone (let me rephrase) I need someone who will be persistent no matter what. The ones who wanna get close I only push farther. They become distant and that’s when I long for them more. Its all a game. Win or lose. A challenge if you must. With obstacles left and right. It will all be coming together perfectly like a puzzle at one point. Then the next is a jumbled up word puzzle that impossible to unscramble. Emotions are careless. They have no true definition. The moment, the action, the words, are what define true emotions. And why base a relationship on an unsure thought. A foundation made of sand. Its dumb if you ask me. Just live life. Don’t tie yourself down to one person. Forget titles. Screw labels. Have funn and test the waters. That way you don’t wind up hurt in the end. Alone and hopeful. Lifes not always handed to ya on a silver platter. Just gotta live loose. No strings attached. No heart breaks. Puzzle solved. Game over!


Honest to blog.
With finals here and school winding to an end, it seems that nothing wants to come easy. The family I live with left to the beach and I get to manage their kids to and from, back and forth, morning and night, meals, school, the whole sha-bang. CRAZY is an understatement. I feel pressured. I feel stressed. But I can only imagine everything that this family has to go through on a daily basis. kind of ridiculous. its always something. on another note though…me and my dad got into a fight. story of my life. so not too confident on moving back home now, but I guess we’ll just have to wait and see! i’ve given it to the Lord and its in His hands now. So if all were to go as planned,,,i’ll go home, mend that relationship this summer, spend quality time with my family, and make some lasting memories. snappy tomato is treating me well i guess. cant believe Im there for the second time in my working career. just lovely! oh and my boy situation sucks. non existent. blank. empty. doug is dumb & immature. why are guys so good at this game. ugh. makes me sickkkk! slash a new tattoo desire is rising up in meh. hmm, what to get and where to get it is now the question. im pretty sure I would like the verse psalm 145:20 all written out,,,just don’t know where. so exciting!!