Heartless…like really? Out of all things you could possibly call me, heartless seems to be the one that hurts the most. To all who read this, or know me for that matter I would dare to say I’m a heartless person. Yeah there may be some things that I could care less about…aka cats! But that doesn’t mean that my heart isn’t fully capable of wrapping itself fully around something. And loving it to no extent! It hurts. Makes me feel like a bright blooming flower that just dried out and wilted. Like you were giddy like a kid then told something bad happened. Thats the feeling going through my stomach. I can’t help it that Im in no way attached to these kittens. Yes, as precious as they may be they are causing me more stress than desired. And on top of all that our lanlord is clueless that we have them. We’re required to pay a $250 pet fee and by just not saying anything we are slyly sneaking past that fee. Which usually doesn’t really shake or phase me, but for some reason I feel like I should tell him. Not to be rid of the cats…but I’m slowly trying to correct my life and fix the things that previously were holding me down. One of those things being shady and dishonest-ness. So by wanting to better myself, or say my spirit man…I am consequently hurting my roommate and her love for her kitten NorahMae. I’m so sorry to all my readers in love with cats, but I just can’t bring myself to fake it anymore. I have no attachment to Lola. Yes she’s my kitty, and yes I love her…but would not be sad to see her go. I just don’t care to deal with the whole cat mess anymore. Call me heartless? Sure. Go for it. Break me down however you’d like. I have Christ and thats the only one I truly need beside me anyways.
From beginning to end.
It’s like book.
With an introduction, a middle, and an end.
Starts at one point on the line, goes up the hill, comes back down, and proceeds to just stop.
But there’s so much more than just that…
The drama, the juicy details, the happiness, the hurt.
You feel liberated at one point and depressed the next.
It rolls out exactly the same.
But in our story there’s this man.
Who never leaves the plot.
He’s there when you laugh, you snort, you get excited, and when you cant stop smiling.
He’s there when you hurt, you cry, you lie, and when you betray.
He’s watches you live, watches you encourage, watches you help, and watches you shine.
He watches you judge, he watches you hate, watches you burden, and envy.
All he wants is you, all of you! To hand over and let him mold.
His potter hands wants to make an AMAZING masterpiece of your story.
He knows our actions, our thoughts, our weaknesses, and our strengths.
And He wants to be there to guide us along the way.
As childlike as this sounds…there’s this light inside of me.
A light that doesn’t want to be smothered or put out.
But its little right now, barely able to keep lit.
Why is Satan so deceiving?
He sits, watches, and waits.
Till your living of the world, till your at your lowest, and lost.
And the thing is…you dont even realize it.
You think life’s great, that all is working out.
Your happy, your living, your going about life just like everyone else.
Except theres this little bit of unsureness.
You cant quite put your finger on it, but its there.
Yeah, thats Satan.
Saying “oh your fine”, “life’s great”, “look at all your friends”, “its just a pill, its just a boy, its just something to drink”.
Then you’re hooked.
Then you’re broken.
Then you’re hurt.
But then there’s God…
Who wants to see you happy, laughing, joyful, and living!
Living a life thats worth something, that you don’t have to think twice about!
Thats the way that I’m longing to live!
That simple, blissful, humble life.
It sure is hard, but I know He’s there to help me along the way.