impetuous |imˈpe ch oōəs|
acting or done quickly and without thought or care
This is me.
Im taking the summer to work, relax, get things done, and continue to fall head over heels for the one I love. That means trying to make money, spending that money, and continuing to passionately pursue my boyfriend in a loving, healthy, devoted, vulnerable, Godly manner. Gosh the privilege of being a girl sucks sometimes though. Besides the monthly hey how ya doin’ emotional roller coaster, it seemed to a pretty rough month all together!
Man was it not pleasant to be around me!
Well a day never ceases to pass where I’m not at work serving people food and asking “Would you like fries with that?” But I’d have to say that there is never a dull day serving in a sports bar and its one of the best jobs I’ve had in a long while! Even though I get those few people who just dont seem to care for life or being happy what.so.ever., I can never keep a smile off my face serving others. Im not sure if its the people, the atmosphere, or just the fact of being surrounded by a community of people who all wanna talk! But Im starting to find myself wanting a new job, dont get me wrong…I make really good money and love what I do but I’d like a solid 9 to 5 job, monday through friday. Is that too much to ask?! I think not! Ha. What Im really lookin for is a job at the childrens hospital or maybe interning at a school or daycare facility! Something that follows along the lines of my future career would be AMAZING!
Gosh has it been one of the most INCREDIBLE rides of my LIFE!! Tomorrow will be 9 months with my boyfriend!! NINE MONTHS! Feels crazy to say, crazy to write. I honestly cant believe how Gods timing works and how he put me in the perfect place at the perfect time to be able to find Ryan! And to think how gracious God is to share him with me and allow me to just be the utmost of who I really am with him! I laugh, I cry, I go through every single emotion a healthy relationship should! But the best part of it all is I truly cant imagine my life any other way! Right here and right now is the happiest I’ve been in forever! He makes me smile SOO much that my mouth starts to hurt and I start to feel like its unreal, some kind of dream that God has given me the privilege of being part of! So life changing! Sooo on a side note my man has set up a surprise! Eeek! We’re gonna be going sometime in August and I. cant. wait!! Im the type of person who will usually talk my way into figuring out what it is, but Ive tried to step back on this one and Ry’s been strong on not telling me! But Im sooo excited to know where we’re going and what we’ll be doing! Gonna be AMAZING!!! He’s dropped some little hints…and i know its for our one year anniversary, but im trying not to think too hard about it, i dont wanna figure it out!
So i wouldnt say Im off the path, in any way, shape, or form…but I am IMPETUOUSLY WANDERING! I seem to be making decisions, doing things, saying things, acting out without thinking of the later consequence. Or asking is this right? I haven’t considered Jesus in the picture at all. Like really? Who am I? Jesus is my everything! Jesus is my all! Jesus has shown me the path and I am happily walking down that path! But its about time I kick my spirit man into overdrive! I want to strive for God! I want to crave reading His word! I want to be overwhelmed and surround by His presence, His love, His glory, His grace!! Like I said I havent gone down the wrong path at all, just lost sight of the end. But all thats starting to change! I live so much more happily along side of Christ!! He gives me more Joy than any earthly thing ever could. Im pretty excited cause my boyfriend is getting sundays back!! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Haha. But really, im so excited he’s gonna have sundays to come to church with me and spend the rest of the day with either my family or his!
My Current Problems:
I get angry. Real easy. Real fast. And it could be about the stupidest little thing! But its not good. at all. Please pray for me!! Its a constant struggle, and really hard to admit because its something I took away from my father (one of the biggest things I despised) so Im taking the first step and realizing its an issue. And in Jesus name I will not let it control me! Its just so hard for those who are around me the most, and I am so thankful to be surrounded by so much love and patience that I dont deserve!