Abstract. Abstact. Abstract.
All thats been going through my head.
Over and over and over again.
My last painting is coming up and due tomorrow.
What a little mess of stress it is!
I lovee art but putting a time limit on it just isnt fair.
How can it truly be organic if Im being pressured to make rash decisions in small amounts of time? Crazy!! So other than art only one more final to go and IM DONEEE!! Holla holla. It’s gonna be so nice to just relax, clean the house, wrap presents, shop for christmas, and just enjoy and soak up the holidays! Lovee it! My life seems to be falling into place so perfectly! Living with ryan has been amazing and so much fun! He’s helping me to learn my strengths and my weaknesses. Where I need to work on myself and where I can ask for help. Pride is such a HUGE word in my life. Its so hard for me to let go of being in control…which of course I get from my dad. He’s a control freakk! Not saying its a bad thing, but at the point where you can let someone else help you…its a problem. Idk if cause I’ve always been so independent, but those ways seem to sway right back into my head when its time to get stuff accomplished, or letting him pay. I just cant allow myself to let him do it all himself. CONTROLLING. i know. I want to still have my hands on the reigns and not relinquish anything that makes me seem dependent. Gahh. Workin on it! Soooooooo excited to go to Louisiana!!!! Miss all my family and cant wait for them to all meet LanaRae and Ryan! Eeeek! Gonna be so much fun! Road trips. Christmas. Packing. Joyfulness. Road trips. Snacks. Family. Laughter. Presents! SO GREAT! 11 DAYS AWAY!!
“Now faith is being being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1
God I have faith in you each and everyday! I trust in you with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding! You are the way the truth and the life, and nothing can come between us! You are a miracle worker and a healer! You make all things new! Your words are like water to my soul and I thirst for you! I want you to be there each and everyday guiding me through the paths you want me to take! Please help me God to decipher right from wrong or what is good for me and what is not! Cause many times i have fallen from not leaning on you and relying that you have me in your hands at all times! It’s like your just sitting there holding this precious new born baby trying to be oh so careful that she doesn’t awaken! Thats how I picture you holding me Lord. I can’t wait to be out of the sickened world that has been so confused and brain washed by media, the news, politics, schools, friends, music. I want to LIVE for YOU! Not just talk to you every now and then, or say a prayer or two…but to truly live for you! Make everything I do a step towards you! I want to mirror you! I people to look and be like wow, why is she so happy? Why isn’t she getting mad over that? What does she have that I don’t? How could she just not care about money, bills, time, boys, her social life? That’s who I want to be! Someone who has given everything up to God and it totally and fully reliant on HIM! Someone who trusts without a doubt that he has a plan and that it’s all under control! Go today and live fearlessly! Give abundantly! Laugh loudly! Don’t worry or stress! As long as you’ve given it all to Him, He’s gonna take care of you! Promise!
Time is a matter of life. Between eating, working, and sleeping 3 days have gone by. Wow. Crazy how time catches up with you like that! This year has been a whirlwind of adventures with time being a minor essence in it all! Senior year was the highlight of my life and i would relive it any day. Friends. Laughter. Boys. Teachers. Football games. Painting up. Late nights. Sleepovers. Hang outs. Sonic. Finals. Graduation. Then summer came…and in a blink of an eye everyone was sitting in rows next to new people listening to a foreign voice talk about the rules and expectations of their classroom. Let me just tell you that before summer even started my transmission went out…STORY OF MY LIFE! haha. So i went from may to august with no way of transportation what so ever! Thankfully I have friends who love me and have my back. With the help of my friends i somehow made my way around to any social event going on, or any party in the making. It was fabulous! Surrounding myself with best friends that could make me laugh by just making a funny face was the life. Inside jokes. The Lake. Happiness. Wake boarding. The Dock. Red Bull. Laying out. Being tan. boys AGAIN. haha. Rocket Summer. Dashboard Confessional. Windows down. Windblown messy hair. Popsicles. Sunshine. Slushies. Jammin with the music turned all the way up! Walking everywhere barefoot. And going in places with little clothes and just a bathing suit. Don’t you just wish papers and due dates didn’t exist! That life :: PAUSED :: for just a second! Look at some of your summer pictures…think about everything that was happening in that moment! And the one shot that you’re looking at is just a glimpse…a pause if you will…at that time in your life! Time, seems to be the key note here. Be happy! Enjoy time while it’s still in your hands. For you to control any was possible. Make the best of every moment! EVERY MOMENT! As the new year comes take a look back and turn it all around! Change your life in a way that will change you!
Kiss slowly, Laugh loudly, Love deeply, Forgive quickly, and Thank God EVERYDAY for your many blessings.
I have come to the conclusion that life=living in the moment! Yeah it’s always nice to plan before hand….or to be prepared and always on time. But that’s just not my forte. I have learned these past few days that i’m not making the best of every moment and letting little things bug me when it’s really not a big deal. Like pet peeves, or however you spell it, are a different story. haha. But honestly why get mad over something that’s not even gonna matter when we’re dead? Or hold grudges on people when it’s seriously pointless! I say lets all forgive and forget! Yeah? yeah! sounds like a deal to meh! Jesus, Laughter, and being spontaneous is what i’ve been living for the past few days and it’s been incredible! INCREDIBLE I TELL YOU! I don’t know why i didn’t have this epiphany sooner! It’s the best new thing since potato chips! haha. So…there’s this boy. Who i happened to meet through my best friend & quest! If you don’t know what Quest is lemme explain! It’s not some weird online world of warcraft kinda thing…cause that’s just weird! ha. Sorry to all you readers who enjoy that kinda stuff. It’s just not my kinda thing. Anyways, it’s a young life event that’s held once a week for college students. Ya know, to try to keep God first priority in our lives since our schedules are so hectic! It’s your typical socialize, worship, game, and sermon! fabulous. I’m getting side-tracked here…so i met this boy! haha. i think i’m actually starting to like him! :) which is not how i roll. ha. I’m much more of the independent type who has never had a boyfriend. “Talked” to a bunch of boys, yes! but never dated them. So for me to like someone enough to even think…what if we dated? is CRAZYY! ahh, idk. Maybe i’m just thinking way too much into this when he doesn’t even give it a second thought. So yeah…i’ll get back to you on how it goes from here!