Bliss.

This is, happiness!
The season. The friends. The love of my life!

Here’s to 2014! Everything feels so surreal! I have a great job, although I’m still serving in a restaurant…it’s a job, and I make great money! I have great friends who are there for me…whether it  be to vent, to go out to dinner, to go to the dog park, to go get sushi, to catch up with, to have rainy movie days, to dye our hair, or to cut my hair! :) They are there. and I love them! I have a great family, both mine & his! Both there to support me in any endeavor I may find myself in, path I may be strolling down, or jump I may be risking to take. They are there ready to encourage, support and challenge me! And of course I have a great boyfriend! One who loves me no matter what. Who is there to meet my every need (the simple needs of a girlfriend that is) haha. Who tells me I’m beautiful and still seems to sweep me off my feet. One to lay in bed with on a cold afternoon and watch the Lorax. Or to go out and have a fun filled day out and about. One who likes to take me out, and opens my door for me! One who snuggles up close and kisses me softly! One who is patient and loving and kind enough to explain every little part of football, even when I still don’t seem to understand what’s going on. The guy who loves to make me breakfast in bed and wants to take my dog to the park! The guy who makes me smile uncontrollably and laugh with total abandon. Is this real life?? How did I end up this blessed! Trying new things, cooking new things. This is today. This is me. This is my life! And I couldn’t be more grateful!

This is, bliss.

in this moment.

No regrets.
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New Obsession.
Elbow Patches.
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Once an artist.
Always an artist.
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Caught in a ray of sunshine! Blessed by God!
Can’t stop smiling, couldn’t be happier.
tumblr_llymw98pzo1qh588j_largeCan’t wait to be married one day.
Every girl’s dream.
To be unconditionally loved.
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SEVEN more days till my new HOME. 3429361297_c579e0d6ea_thumb

KEEP A SECRET…NEW TATTOO=April 15th.



LIGHTS.

I. am. BLESSED!

So the new job is absolutely an answered prayer!! Thank you Jesus for bringing this job my way, honestly perfect timing.

But to be real, wasn’t the best at first. It was so much to get done, ya know, checking things off the list to be able to work there and getting all my paperwork finished. Then on top of that it was my last week at my serving job. Just imagine…a bossy, old(soon to be retired), grumpy manager just dwindling down your attitude because you’re leaving his company soon. Doesnt quite put me in the best of moods. But thankfully it was my final and last day ever serving again! No more stress. No more stinky restaurant clothes. No more aprons. No more working nights, weekends or holidays.
Someone got themselves a big girl job!!….well kinda. Haha.
But I could not be in a happier point in my life right now! Not everything is going my way, but if it was then I wouldnt be able to appreciate all that was! So stepping to the side and looking at all that I have to be thankful for has been the best thing for me recently! God has given me an amazing loving family, an awesome sister/best friend/roommate, a loving, happy, full of joy LanaRae and an incredible one of a kind boyfriend! I would be crazy to have any reason to not be constantly thankful!! JOY has graciously showered down upon me recently and its been so nice to regain all that I once had not too long ago!
So in this consistent state of being happy and in a good mood I have found myself giddy like a child! Its back to little things. Like tickle fights. Cozied up snuggling. Bubble baths. Snorting. Laughing uncontrollably and way TOO loud! Haha. Its so comforting to be in the hands of the Lord!
The only tough patch in it all is the absence of a paycheck. Gosh, ya gotta know how hard it can be to go 4 weeks in between switching jobs with just no income. Straight craziness! Let me say. The devil will not win this battle now or ever. I watched him destroy my family with financial struggles and I wont allow him to do it again. So with all that I have in me Im just praying and trusting the Lord to watch over me and have faith He will provide! He always does! I just hope my eyes are open enough to be ale to recognize the little things! But through it all I have been SO undeservingly blessed by my boyfriend!! He has been there to hold my hand and walk me through it. And thankfully he has been blessed to be making the money he needs for his trip and also help me out with dinners lunches or date nights! Gahh, just LOVE him with all thats in me! Cant wait for our surprise trip in october! So excited!! Ill fill you in with more details to come!

Dont forget to PAUSE and SHINE you’re light!!

IMPETUOUSLY WANDERING.

impetuous |imˈpe ch oōəs|
adjective
acting or done quickly and without thought or care

This is me.
Currently.

Right now:
Im taking the summer to work, relax, get things done, and continue to fall head over heels for the one I love. That means trying to make money, spending that money, and continuing to passionately pursue my boyfriend in a loving, healthy, devoted, vulnerable, Godly manner. Gosh the privilege of being a girl sucks sometimes though. Besides the  monthly hey how ya doin’ emotional roller coaster, it seemed to a pretty rough month all together!
Man was it not pleasant to be around me!

The Job:
Well a day never ceases to pass where I’m not at work serving people food and asking “Would you like fries with that?” But I’d have to say that there is never a dull day serving in a sports bar and its one of the best jobs I’ve had in a long while! Even though I get those few people who just dont seem to care for life or being happy what.so.ever., I can never keep a smile off my face serving others. Im not sure if its the people, the atmosphere, or just the fact of being surrounded by a community of people who all wanna talk! But Im starting to find myself wanting a new job, dont get me wrong…I make really good money and love what I do but I’d like a solid 9 to 5 job, monday through friday. Is that too much to ask?! I think not! Ha. What Im really lookin for is a job at the childrens hospital or maybe interning at a school or daycare facility! Something that follows along the lines of my future career would be AMAZING!

The Boy:
Gosh has it been one of the most INCREDIBLE rides of my LIFE!! Tomorrow will be 9 months with my boyfriend!! NINE MONTHS! Feels crazy to say, crazy to write. I honestly cant believe how Gods timing works and how he put me in the perfect place at the perfect time to be able to find Ryan! And to think how gracious God is to share him with me and allow me to just be the utmost of who I really am with him! I laugh, I cry, I go through every single emotion a healthy relationship should! But the best part of it all is I truly cant imagine my life any other way! Right here and right now is the happiest I’ve been in forever! He makes me smile SOO much that my mouth starts to hurt and I start to feel like its unreal, some kind of dream that God has given me the privilege of being part of! So life changing! Sooo on a side note my man has set up a surprise! Eeek! We’re gonna be going sometime in August and I. cant. wait!! Im the type of person who will usually talk my way into figuring out what it is, but Ive tried to step back on this one and Ry’s been strong on not telling me! But Im sooo excited to know where we’re going and what we’ll be doing! Gonna be AMAZING!!! He’s dropped some little hints…and i know its for our one year anniversary, but im trying not to think too hard about it, i dont wanna figure it out!

Christ:
So i wouldnt say Im off the path, in any way, shape, or form…but I am IMPETUOUSLY WANDERING! I seem to be making decisions, doing things, saying things, acting out without thinking of the later consequence. Or asking is this right? I haven’t considered Jesus in the picture at all. Like really? Who am I? Jesus is my everything! Jesus is my all! Jesus has shown me the path and I am happily walking down that path! But its about time I kick my spirit man into overdrive! I want to strive for God! I want to crave reading His word! I want to be overwhelmed and surround by His presence, His love, His glory, His grace!! Like I said I havent gone down the wrong path at all, just lost sight of the end. But all thats starting to change! I live so much more happily along side of Christ!! He gives me more Joy than any earthly thing ever could. Im pretty excited cause my boyfriend is getting sundays back!! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Haha. But really, im so excited he’s gonna have sundays to come to church with me and spend the rest of the day with either my family or his!

My Current Problems:
I get angry. Real easy. Real fast. And it could be about the stupidest little thing! But its not good. at all. Please pray for me!! Its a constant struggle, and really hard to admit because its something I took away from my father (one of the biggest things I despised) so Im taking the first step and realizing its an issue. And in Jesus name I will not let it control me! Its just so hard for those who are around me the most, and I am so thankful to be surrounded by so much love and patience that I dont deserve!

PICTURE this…

Well, well, well….it’s been quite a bit since I’ve talked to you! Ha. Life has been so crazy, exciting, happy, sad, JOYFUL, emotional, and mostly exhausting. I haven’t really been living true to my tattoo and PAUSEing. Ugh, it can just be so hard…when everything else surrounding you is go go go go. I feel like no matter what Im always trying to catch up! Thank JESUS it is finally summer!!!! Yayy! Ahh, what a blessing in itself! So sundays around here are family days, and man do i LOVE sundays. I could cry right now thinking about it…they’re so joyful and happy, and careless, and an abundance of never-ending loveeee!! It fills my heart with all the missing pieces from throughout the week, the true meaning of family kicks in and everyone comes together to just BE. whether it be just watching tv in the same room, or catching up on weekly stories, grilling out, playing board games, or even(i cant believe im saying this) disc golfing together…no matter the activity it brings my family even closer together and fills my heart with love and compassion and support, in which i need all! I think i might be going through a rough patch in my life. Now dont fret, its nothing to worry bout, stop that,,, i can see you worrying through my computer screen!! haha. mom. but just a spot in my life where Jesus is trying to bring be to a better and closer relationship with Him, and in order to do so Im being tested, drilled, questioned….how bad do you want Me? How bad do you want this? how bad to you want others to join with us in My Kingdom? Gosh, and when Jesus brings a challenge the devil sends an army. he wont win. he never does. My God is STRONGER than all of this!! And the best part is He’s on MY SIDE! :) HA! take that. But really,,,it’s been a struggle…but I will make it through all of this, its just hard right now! I feel like ive been someone who im not and apologize to all those who know me and love me. Im not trying to hurt you or push you away, its just been hard. And the devil CAN and WILL find any way to destroy anything good in my life. And i know im not fighting this alone, but sometimes it feels like it. so its hard to take anyones perspective cause they dont know what Im going through. Ahh, gosh, life on earth….such a joke. I cant waitttt to be in heaven! No worries, no stress, just JESUS! gonna be GLORIOUS!! SO while you’ve been gone, LOTS has happened.
PICTUREEEE TIMEEE!

We had a birthday,
MY BEST FRIENDDDS BIRTHDAYY!
TAYS 22 BIRTHDAYWISHES.
the JIMMY(mycar) broke

LanaRae got spayed.
Look at her all INNOCENT!
INNOCENT. my food for april was chicken quesadillas,homemade guacamole,
and homemade banana pudding! mhmm, yeah is right! i hope your mouth is watering! haha.

GUACAMOLE.

BANANA PUDDING.QUESADILLAS.
we had a doggie pool day, and gosh was it sooo much funn!!

I got new TOMS!!
YAYYY!
I rearranged my room!

ME & TAY HAD MUSTACHE ADVENTURES!!!

hahahahaha. bustedd.our mustache wall!
and of course everyday with this guy makes me smile even MORE! :)
couldn't be more BLESSED!

Hands Down.

Gosh! It’s been so long since I last talked to the vast unknown that we call the internet. So…on that note, hello to all! Its been a short while, but I have had a lot of amazing changes. First off i movedd out! Holla holla. Its only been 3 weeks, but best 3 weeks of my life thus far! Ha. It’s been liberating, exciting, stressful, and tiring all in one big sha-bang! The freedom to do whatever I want and whenever I want is glorious. But there is also the other side of the spectrum with bills, responsibility, work, and the whole becoming an adult thing. Ha so great! To be honest it actually has been pretty dang exciting! There have been a few underlying issues, starting to surface, but hopefully those little kinks will work themselves out and God will take care of it all! Secondly, I finally was able to go to church this morning and it was incredible! Not only did God move, but He moved in a way that required change. A change in me…in my heart. That overwhelms my life, my thoughts, and my actions. He wants better for me. Better for us! Hands down its been the most exciting slash best summer yet. And the coolest part is my life is just beginning!

Please stop.

I’m over it.
Im over all the questions.
I’m over you having to know where I am &what I’m doing ever second of the day.
Seriously.
I don’t mind keeping in touch….but you are asking too much of me.
If I’m not worried, you shouldn’t be.
If I say I’ve got in under control..
I do.
Please put half of your trust in me…not asking for much.
JUST HALF.
I have my head on my shoulders pretty well.
If you’d just give me a chance,
and stop.
I’m not used to being under this spotlight again.
It’s not fun, I dont enjoy life, and and Im having to watch every step I make.
No Mistakes.
I cant just go somewhere without you asking where.
I can’t just talk to someone on the phone without you asking who.
I swear, IM NOT HIDING ANYTHING!
my life is an open book.
And I’m willing to let you be part of my story,
but only if you let me be the one to write it.
please stop.
or else you’ll only push me farther.

PAUSE.

Stop moving. Stop the craziness. Stop following others. Stand strong. Stand firm. Stand up for everything you believe in. Start believing that you have what it takes…not just to change others, but to change yourself! Humble yourself enough to think that maybe God has bigger plans for us than we do for ourselves! Trust me. It’s hard to say, and even harder to do! I don’t want to live for this world any longer. My heart belongs to the one and only Jesus Christ and I want everything I do to be unto him! My actions, my words, my thoughts…all to honor and glorify His name. I want to play in the rain! To sing and dance in the rain. To twirl around like a little girl in a ballerina dress in the rain. Not just any rain though, grace like rain. Grace that falls down upon me and washes all my sins away! Like Jesus just showering me and covering me with His love. A Love that goes way beyond physical love though. An emotional love that goes straight to the heart and heals any wounds. A love that is eternal and never ending! That is there when you’re down and cant get back up. He’s there to pick you up and be your hands and your feet. To guide you in the way that you should go. To light your path! Just PAUSE. Stand there and be still. All He wants is for you and me to be happy! To give us everything we ever wanted! For us to have joy and peace and love! To be happy and shine that light for others to see! To spread like wildfire. Like a contagious plague that consumes us from the inside out! To live life for Him! Do it! I’m trying! So why not?

CHANGE.

Hello hello hello! So lately I just haven’t been in the blogging mood…sorry to all my three readers out there! haha. Life’s been crazy lately and time has succeeded in flying by! So just as an update love life=dead. ha. No boys for now, just me and Jesus! Which is completely okay with me. I think time is needed for me to get back in the loop with the J-man. Get my priorities straight and live the way that I should be! Today is going to be a fabulous snowy day! Perfect day for cleaning, doing some homework, and hangin with friends later at Quest! hoot. hoot. What could be better right?! Oh my goodness…so my doctor said I have stomach ulcers slash acid reflux and I have no idea what to do! Like eating wise….im clueless! It sucks so bad & I need advice on what to eat. Like what is there to eat when you can’t have spicy. dairy. nothing fried. no caffeine. no salty things. no chocolate. WOW! that leaves me with potatoes, rice, and peas. haha So peeps…this is point where you come in!

:: FEEDBACK! FEEDBACK! FEEDBACK! ::

Words That Begin With….

Hmmm…how bout some words to think about….
L::LAUGHING. LOVE. LIFE. LISTEN. LEARN. LIKE. LORD. LIME. LATE. LEGIT. LEGOS. LEAVE.
H::HAPPINESS. HEART. HOPE. HEAL. HEALTH. HUGS. HATS. HEMP. HAY. HOE. HOME.
B::BEST. BUTT. BUCKLE. BAIT. BARN. BOYS. BEAD. BROWN. BAKE. BEE. BUBBLE. BITE.
O::OWLS. ORANGE. OCTOPUS. OVALS. OUT. OSCAR. OPALS. OINK OINK. OATS. OLD. OVER.
P::PAUSE. PLAY. PICKLES. PICTURES. POKE. PIGS. PACK. PARK. PROUD. PHONE. PINK.
E::EVER. EGGS. EAT. ERG. EASY. EWE. ELM. ELF. EYE. ED. ELLE. EMMY. EVE. EX. EGGOS. EFF.
W::WHISTLE. WAVE. WORK. WHITE. WRONG. WOMEN. WALK. WOOF. WIGGLE. WATER.
T::TIME. TALK. TELL. TORN. TOP. TEASE. TICK. TOCK. TAKE. TOSS. TRY. TASTE. TRAIN.
J::JOY. JENKINS. JERK. JUMP. JAZZ. JUGGLE. JESUS. JOCK. JADE. JEEP. JAWS. JET. JUG.
S::SMILE. SNUGGLE. SNAP. SING. STARS. SAIL. SWAGGER. SHH. STILL. SAFE. STRONG.

STAND OUT!

::PAUSE ON MY LIFE::
I want to STAND OUT!
I want to be different!
I want people to notice me in this world!
Not just for being someone who doesn’t follow the trend.
For being a Christian who is in love with Jesus and everyone can tell!
I want that light to radiate off of me!
I want people to say why is she so happy?
I want people to want what I have!
Not as in material things of this world.
For the LOVE and JOY Jesus brings us because we are living for him!
I want to make a change!
I want to make a difference!
I want to impact people by the way I live!
From this point forward I am going to rethink the way I walk…
I’m not gonna sit around and wait for something to happen.
SOMETHING BIG!
I’m going to start “walking out” what Jesus has planned for me!
I’m going to change the way I live!
It’s not gonna be easy…and I’m not perfect!
I’m gonna make mistakes. I’m gonna fall.
But God’s gonna pull be back up stronger than I was before!
This is it!
Here we go world!
Please pray for me and tell me if you have any thoughts!
::PLAY::