I am beyond BLESSED! Literally, beyond. April here we come!!!
It is gonna be the BEST BIRTHDAY MONTH yet! Taking in each day alongside Christ and I could not be happier! We’ve had amazing beautiful weather that makes you wanna just walk around grinning from cheek to cheek! And I have so much support and love surrounding me at all sides! My immediate family as well as my boyfriends family! I loveee them with all of me and couldn’t be more thankful for everything they do for me!! The past few months have been crazy but with them, Jesus, and my friends…I’ve made it!!
Everything has fallen into place all in God’s timing and I’m sooo excitedddd!!!
Geez SO much going on in APRIL! Where do I even begin?!
So I got the apartment! Whoop Whoop! Move-in day is APRIL 7th ya’ll! I feel like this new place is gonna change my life!! Haha dorky? maybe. But it’s honestly like a whole new chapter. My OWN place. With my little bedroom, bath, living room, dining room and kitchen! Eeek!! Me and Lana doin what we want, when we want! I can’t wait to decorate everything and get settled in! And I’m excited to paint!! Think I’m gonna do some accent walls. But haven’t really decided on what and where. I’ve been doing some apartment shopping (which is soo much fun when you actually have money btw) haha. And Im the proud new owner of pots, pans, tubberware, cutting boards, a couch, and entertainment center!!! Holy cow.
So people say April is the month of showers. Literally, yes. Figuratively, most definitely! God has been showering me with blessing after blessing, along with HIS grace, mercy, and love! Not only is this MY BIRTHDAY month. But it’s all of the people I love soo much’s too! Christy, bekah, my brother, and my two best friends!! Eeek! What a great month full of JOY, LOVE, and HAPPINESS!
So…TWENTY-TWO! Whooo Hooo!
Can’t believe I’m in my twenties already, let alone past the age of being able to legally drink. But with this age, and this month. It’s bringing a whole new light to my life. A maturity if you will. A confidence. An air about myself. I’ll be on my own again and this time it’s literally just me.
Well me and LanaRae. haha. It’s a whole new journey! And I gotta admit…IM SO EXCITEDD!! For everything twenty-two has in store! So I’ve been shopping for the apartment so much, making sure I’m prepared and all…I haven’t really gotten to spend any “me” money!
So with it being my birthday…it seems fit to spill my birthday wishes!Umm….YES PLEASEEE!!!
But I guess these are more realistic…haha.
So if the apartment isn’t a big enough birthday present to myself…I would love a pair of black hunter rainboots!! Also in love with this purple-y down jacket made by Columbia! Umm…maybe throw in some packages of 600 polaroid film, oh and Viva La Juicy! Other than that…just whatever is cute and petite and vintage like or would be good for a new home!
RYAN COMING HOME.
Ahh geez. Lets see.
Excited. Nervous. Thrilled. Scared. Can’t Wait. Vulnerable.
It’s been soo long since I’ve seen his face. Since I’ve heard his voice. Since I’ve held his hand. Or kissed his lips. I miss movie nights. date nights. makin dinner together. waking up next to him. snuggling against his body. being the little spoon. makin out. hookin up. going to the park. going to play disc golf. Gosh the memories are endless.
In two days it’ll be a year and a half.
A YEAR AND A HALF!
Seems like eternity. Gosh, how in the heck did I get this far with someone?!! Only God! Cause He knows me and my heart! The only reason I’ve made it these past three months without ry, is CHRIST. I love this boy with everythingg in me and cannot WAIT for all God has in store for us! The way he wants to lead us, guide us, direct our path! Our relationship is in HIS hands. But like I said I’m scared. Scared of ever being hurt. And nervous. Nervous to allow myself to be vulnerable. Not gonna lie, I dont think it’s gonna be easy what. so. ever. But who knows, maybe everything will be great and go right back to normal with no hesitations. I want him homeeee! The anticipation is killing me!
The worst thing in my life right now, okay maybe not the worst, or even close, but the most discouraging attribute that I have noticed in a lot of my friends right now is something that I would like to refer to as an empty smile. I wouldn’t say it’s something that they can necessarily control, but it’s definitely something that when you look at them you think, “hmm, I wonder what’s truly hindering this person from genuinely caring” or maybe they just could give two flips. That they were never a true friend to begin with and it was a fecad this whole time. I’m not too sure what is going on in these guys and girls lives, but it’s definitely not Jesus Christ. I’m so thankful that I’ve been shown that I am nothing with out Him and that he lives through me! That this body of mine, here on earth is just a vessel. A vessel to shine His light in this gross dirty filthy world. That when I struggle, it’s not my struggle. It’s His. That if I have completely given everything to Him, and let go of any burdens that I have been holding in, that he will take care of it all! It is now His burdens, and His struggles, He has thankfully and graciously given His live to save mine! Wow! Truly amazing! Haha. But back to the empty smiles…I want to show my friends this new found love that I have encountered! These friends that look around in rooms full of people striving for a desire to belong. A desire to be wanted in this needy world. And it’s so true! We have been given this desire to be desired by Christ. He wants us to want Him to where He can fill us up! But instead these people are looking towards worldly material things and people to fill this “hole”. So here I am, with my friendly courteous attitude that wants to put 110% into these friendships of mine, and am only receiving about 35% back. Not okay. I mean some people may not notice those kind of things or even care, but if you honestly want a true friend then I say it’s bout time to fill these empty smiles with legit joy and happiness from the one true God!