ABSTRACT.

Abstract. Abstact. Abstract.
All thats been going through my head.
Over and over and over again.
Gosh.
My last painting is coming up and due tomorrow.
What a little mess of stress it is!
I lovee art but putting a time limit on it just isnt fair.
How can it truly be organic if Im being pressured to make rash decisions in small amounts of time? Crazy!! So other than art only one more final to go and IM DONEEE!! Holla holla. It’s gonna be so nice to just relax, clean the house, wrap presents, shop for christmas, and just enjoy and soak up the holidays! Lovee it! My life seems to be falling into place so perfectly! Living with ryan has been amazing and so much fun! He’s helping me to learn my strengths and my weaknesses. Where I need to work on myself and where I can ask for help. Pride is such a HUGE word in my life. Its so hard for me to let go of being in control…which of course I get from my dad. He’s a control freakk! Not saying its a bad thing, but at the point where you can let someone else help you…its a problem. Idk if cause I’ve always been so independent, but those ways seem to sway right back into my head when its time to get stuff accomplished, or letting him pay. I just cant allow myself to let him do it all himself. CONTROLLING. i know. I want to still have my hands on the reigns and not relinquish anything that makes me seem dependent. Gahh. Workin on it! Soooooooo excited to go to Louisiana!!!! Miss all my family and cant wait for them to all meet LanaRae and Ryan! Eeeek! Gonna be so much fun! Road trips. Christmas. Packing. Joyfulness. Road trips. Snacks. Family. Laughter. Presents! SO GREAT! 11 DAYS AWAY!!

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Baby it’s cold outside!

So the semester has been up and going and the fall months are finally here! I love the summer…long days, the lake, catchin some rays, but I’m also in love with the cold months too. Coffee dates, hot chocolate, brownies and baking cookies are some of the best nights. Along with bundling up in a cute scarf and sitting under a cozy blanket all snuggled up by the fire! I love the changing of the leaves as I go down some of my favorite streets and the smell of bonfires all around. I get simple joy out of listening to christmas carols and jazz as the smell of banana bread muffins fill the kitchen and rooms.  For some reason the cold weather just puts me a great mood! Life is better and I always seem to be happy. Happiness is bliss and laugher=happiness. Idk but for some reason christmas, thanksgiving and all the days in between seem to bring a smile to most peoples’ faces. My goal this semester is to be carefree and crazyy! I want to live life on the edge like there’s no tomorrow. And be able to make other people smile. Why stress when I have nothing to stress about?

LOVE.

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not. I’m sure at some point in our lives we have all done this. Just for fun of course! Because never in a million years would we base whether our guy loves us or not based on pedals from a flower! Right? Or maybe we would…my  theme starts to become should I be with him, should I not, Is it good for me, is it not? Why is love so freakin complicated!! How am I supposed to know who’s right for me? Is God going to tell me? Gosh I sure do hope so! Haha. I honestly think it’ll somewhat be like the movies where I get this ancy warm nervous feeling inside and all I can think about is him. Not to a point where is consumes my life, but enough to make me actually WANT to be with him. haha. Because with me I love the chase, the thrill, the whole adventure and journey of getting the guy to like you….but once I have em’ I dont want em’. As weird as that is! Ha. Once they want me and start texting me non stop is when I tend to not care anymore and dont really feel the need to hangout, cause I honestly dont want to! So I’m just waiting for that ONE PERFECT ONE! To just sweep me off my feet and make me smile without even realizing a have that cute little smirk grinning up my cheeks! Ahh! I cant wait!

FAITH.

“Now faith is being being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

God I have faith in you each and everyday! I trust in you with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding! You are the way the truth and the life, and nothing can come between us! You are a miracle worker and a healer!  You make all things new! Your words are like water to my soul and I thirst for you! I want you to be there each and everyday guiding me through the paths you want me to take! Please help me God to decipher right from wrong or what is good for me and what is not! Cause many times i have fallen from not leaning on you and relying that you have me in your hands at all times! It’s like your just sitting there holding this precious new born baby trying to be oh so careful that  she doesn’t awaken! Thats how I picture  you holding me Lord. I can’t wait to be out of the sickened world that has been so confused and brain washed by media, the news, politics, schools, friends, music. I want to LIVE for YOU! Not just talk to you every now and then, or say a prayer or two…but to truly live for you! Make everything I do a step towards you! I want to mirror you! I people to look and be like wow, why is she so happy? Why isn’t she getting mad over that? What does she have that I don’t? How could she just not care about money, bills, time, boys, her social life? That’s who I want to be! Someone who has given everything up to God and it totally and fully reliant on HIM! Someone who trusts without a doubt that he has a plan and that it’s all under control! Go today and live fearlessly! Give abundantly! Laugh loudly! Don’t worry or stress! As long as you’ve given it all to Him, He’s gonna take care of you! Promise!

……this is my prayer to you!