Tis’ the Season!

It’s almost Fall here in the the good ole Tennessee Valley!
And man oh man am I ready!
SO much that the month of September entails!

FIRST, we have my personal favorites…
Scarves. Boots. AND coffee!!
eda4efc3ccd0c79513506ba74759984e 073da840698baa2b34a519929e1bba4d edb31b56a3bad82935272ecfa61ef087

SECONDLY, we have THE FAIR!
To sum it up=a giddy & child-like me, haha. Where my better half isn’t too fond of mass crowds full of sugar crazed kids and an obnoxious array of smells. He puts up with it once a year just for me to get my fill of funnel cakes, ferris wheel rides, carmel apples {on the occasion} and a plethora of carnival festivities! Can I add how thankful I am for his cooperation and willingness to make me happy! :)

lomo_effect_county_fair_by_nicoleelise-d4jaco3_large large-2THEN we have the season!
the breeze. multi-colored leaves. the 70s. pumpkins. bonfires. spices. & pies.
I am obsessed with this weather, not only is it a best friend to my closet, but it puts me in such a happy mood! I love just sitting on my back porch with coffee in hand embracing the beautifully painted masterpiece surrounding me!
flat_550x550_075_f_large large

And of course, I can’t leave out the pies!
I am determined to perfect THE HOMEMADE PIE!
AppleBlueberryBlackberry…I’m all on it!

c0fd2a7da38556732bc968dce4947780 large-5

Well, here’s to fall!
Grab some cider and toast with me!

The Comparison Trap.

Always wanting what I don’t have.

Healthy…no. But true.
It’s hard to not get caught up in the whirlwind of one thing after another.
One minute it’s the new iPhone, and in a blink of an eye I have a pup, an apartment, and a basket full of bills. From one thing to the next. And boyyy is it addictive.
A worldly standard at its finest.

And for me, it starts to envelop and weave its way into every little aspect of my life. From something as simple as the way I dress and the color of my hair. Then leaping forward to comparing my relationship status to someone else’s. Most recently I’ve been sucked into this rapid river of lies. The way we spend are free time, the way we’re seen by others, the pace of our relationship. Talk about putting us in a box and sucking all the air out! But having since come to this epiphany, I think I’ve taken a couple steps back and really looked at what I have, where I’ve been, and where I’m striving to go. I can honestly admit that patience is my worst virtue! I mean I just straight up suck at it! Haha. And of course it seems to be fit that patience is one of the key components to love!

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1Corinthians 13:4-7

This is what I desire. To be this for him in any and every way! Day by day I’m proven how much my man really does care. How much he loves me, cares about me, and wants to be my best friend for the rest of our lives! He’s been building his trust back from ground up. A whole new foundation and a really a whole new person! He’s affectionate, he’s kind, and responds instead of reacting (for the most part that is) But I can also take fault for losing my temper every now and then! ;) It’s the little kisses, the “i love you’s”, the snuggles for no reason, the flowers, the dinners, the encouragement and man oh man the support! The way we work out problems and overcome struggles. The way we’re growing in Christ and building towards our future! It’s just truly been an incredible and overwhelming past 3 months. Only looking toward all the blessings yet to come! Yah yah, so why worry right?? I guess it’s just the little girl inside of me that’s scared of the past. Scared of “what could happen”. But in no way is that healthy, for me or for us. So here’s to what’s to come, a toast! All the smiles, the laughter, the joy! The rough times, and the hills. I’m ready to take it on with a new perspective. A more positive trusting perspective. I’ve chosen to forgive and look towards the happily ever after I’ve always wanted for us. I know the day is coming, at least I really hope so! Haha. I just gotta be patient and let him do his thing! It hasn’t been easy and I’m sure it won’t get any easier, but I’m ready to take on that challenge. To me it’s all worth it!! Im so ready to take a back seat to God! To give Him full and total control! He has blessed me with SO much up to this point. The least I can do is just trust Him and have faith it’s all in his timing.
A Christian standard at its finest!

THANKFUL.

fear |fi(ə)r|
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that
someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

PSALM 145:20
The Lord watches over all who love Him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.

fear to me is a lot of things…
Lets start with right now.
Right now I’m currently all moved in with my grandparetns. And by all…I mean I have some closet space, a place to store my food, a bed, and my LanaRae! Now not throwing my self a pity party , but it’s definitely not how I imagined the rest of 2012 would go. But that’s when I have to remember that this is not in my hands anymore, it’s in Gods. And I’ve been so blessed to have a family that’ll just let me crash their lifestyle for awhile until I can get back on my feet again. What scares me though…is what’s gonna happen next? What’s my next move gonna be? Where’s it gonna be? Who’s it gonna be with? At this point I literally have no answers, and that to me…is scary! I’m the type of girl who likes to have a plan. All figured out and set in place. But God is slowly starting to break me of that. Little by little He is doing things that MAKE ME rely on Him, and put all my trust in HIM! Which has been honestly life changing! I know all this change happening so sudden and so fast wasn’t too convenient for the worldly side of me, but Im so happy at where I’m at now that I’ve given God full control! I’ve been a happier person, and definitely more JOYFUL! And I feel the spiritual side of me feels so much closer to God now than I have in a really long time! Now I can’t let moving take all the credit, me and my boyfriend finally got back in church and he has been amazingly persistent on staying strong and putting God first! Keeping me accountable on living a God-centered life!

So we’ve been dating for over a year now and it’s been amazing!! Obviously no relationship is perfect (which I know I still can’t get through my head sometimes) but for what we have and what we’ve had….it’s been pretty darn close!! Despite the struggles, up and downs, and emotional sometimes crazy me I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING. I love that boy with all my heart and have had the best times I’ll never forget with him! He can make me laugh harder than anyone else and smile bigger than my happiest days. I never really understood dating until now, but being moved apart from living right next door has opened my heart to giving him his space and that space not being a bad thing. Before I thought if we weren’t together something was wrong. But im (slowly) realizing how relationships work, and how sometimes he may just want to be to himself, or want to hang with his friends. Its really hard, only because I feel like were going backwards rather than forwards….but I feel like once again it’s in God’s hands and this is what’s meant to happen. That starting off fresh and “going backwards” a little is only helping us to go forward stronger!

So that leads me to fear in the future..
So I’d say I’m starting to get a hang of giving ry his own time, his space. But here in the next month and a half he’s bout to have A LOT of spacee!! Erg. PAUSE. Let me begin my saying that he has been given a once in a lifetime amazing opportunity to study abroad in spain! Amazing, right?! I could not be happier for him to get to experience Spain! It’s culture, it’s heritage, it’s beauty, it’s views! All the people and the the food! Gosh I couldn’t be more jealous!!! And all while still going to school over there to study what he loves! It’s literally perfect! the only downside……………..it’s. five. moths. Five whole months!!!!! Of being away from me!!  Oh yeah, this is where I get scared! Now I get to be a little selfish (just a little). What the heck am I gonna do for five months?!!! I mean I know I’ll find stuff to occupy myself, maybe. But I won’t get daily communication. I wont get to hug him, kiss him, wrap my arms around him! No watching a movie snuggled up into him with his warm body against mine! No date nights. Literally no physical love. Ugghh. I need his fellowship! Im sure it’ll fly by. And I have lots of family, mine and his, who are all here to love on me while he’s gone….but it just sucks. And the worst part is he’s gonna be way too busy to care. I know he does, but Spain is just going to envelop his everything and become his new life. I’ll just be outta sight outta mind. :/ now i know five months will be forever for me, but for him it’ll seem like nothing! Im happy he gets to stay long enough to really get a grasp and enjoy spain after the initial awe of it all!

So to all you out there reading this, please pray!! Pray for me, pray for him, pray for our relationships with Christ, pray for safety in spain!

LIGHTS.

I. am. BLESSED!

So the new job is absolutely an answered prayer!! Thank you Jesus for bringing this job my way, honestly perfect timing.

But to be real, wasn’t the best at first. It was so much to get done, ya know, checking things off the list to be able to work there and getting all my paperwork finished. Then on top of that it was my last week at my serving job. Just imagine…a bossy, old(soon to be retired), grumpy manager just dwindling down your attitude because you’re leaving his company soon. Doesnt quite put me in the best of moods. But thankfully it was my final and last day ever serving again! No more stress. No more stinky restaurant clothes. No more aprons. No more working nights, weekends or holidays.
Someone got themselves a big girl job!!….well kinda. Haha.
But I could not be in a happier point in my life right now! Not everything is going my way, but if it was then I wouldnt be able to appreciate all that was! So stepping to the side and looking at all that I have to be thankful for has been the best thing for me recently! God has given me an amazing loving family, an awesome sister/best friend/roommate, a loving, happy, full of joy LanaRae and an incredible one of a kind boyfriend! I would be crazy to have any reason to not be constantly thankful!! JOY has graciously showered down upon me recently and its been so nice to regain all that I once had not too long ago!
So in this consistent state of being happy and in a good mood I have found myself giddy like a child! Its back to little things. Like tickle fights. Cozied up snuggling. Bubble baths. Snorting. Laughing uncontrollably and way TOO loud! Haha. Its so comforting to be in the hands of the Lord!
The only tough patch in it all is the absence of a paycheck. Gosh, ya gotta know how hard it can be to go 4 weeks in between switching jobs with just no income. Straight craziness! Let me say. The devil will not win this battle now or ever. I watched him destroy my family with financial struggles and I wont allow him to do it again. So with all that I have in me Im just praying and trusting the Lord to watch over me and have faith He will provide! He always does! I just hope my eyes are open enough to be ale to recognize the little things! But through it all I have been SO undeservingly blessed by my boyfriend!! He has been there to hold my hand and walk me through it. And thankfully he has been blessed to be making the money he needs for his trip and also help me out with dinners lunches or date nights! Gahh, just LOVE him with all thats in me! Cant wait for our surprise trip in october! So excited!! Ill fill you in with more details to come!

Dont forget to PAUSE and SHINE you’re light!!

IMPETUOUSLY WANDERING.

impetuous |imˈpe ch oōəs|
adjective
acting or done quickly and without thought or care

This is me.
Currently.

Right now:
Im taking the summer to work, relax, get things done, and continue to fall head over heels for the one I love. That means trying to make money, spending that money, and continuing to passionately pursue my boyfriend in a loving, healthy, devoted, vulnerable, Godly manner. Gosh the privilege of being a girl sucks sometimes though. Besides the  monthly hey how ya doin’ emotional roller coaster, it seemed to a pretty rough month all together!
Man was it not pleasant to be around me!

The Job:
Well a day never ceases to pass where I’m not at work serving people food and asking “Would you like fries with that?” But I’d have to say that there is never a dull day serving in a sports bar and its one of the best jobs I’ve had in a long while! Even though I get those few people who just dont seem to care for life or being happy what.so.ever., I can never keep a smile off my face serving others. Im not sure if its the people, the atmosphere, or just the fact of being surrounded by a community of people who all wanna talk! But Im starting to find myself wanting a new job, dont get me wrong…I make really good money and love what I do but I’d like a solid 9 to 5 job, monday through friday. Is that too much to ask?! I think not! Ha. What Im really lookin for is a job at the childrens hospital or maybe interning at a school or daycare facility! Something that follows along the lines of my future career would be AMAZING!

The Boy:
Gosh has it been one of the most INCREDIBLE rides of my LIFE!! Tomorrow will be 9 months with my boyfriend!! NINE MONTHS! Feels crazy to say, crazy to write. I honestly cant believe how Gods timing works and how he put me in the perfect place at the perfect time to be able to find Ryan! And to think how gracious God is to share him with me and allow me to just be the utmost of who I really am with him! I laugh, I cry, I go through every single emotion a healthy relationship should! But the best part of it all is I truly cant imagine my life any other way! Right here and right now is the happiest I’ve been in forever! He makes me smile SOO much that my mouth starts to hurt and I start to feel like its unreal, some kind of dream that God has given me the privilege of being part of! So life changing! Sooo on a side note my man has set up a surprise! Eeek! We’re gonna be going sometime in August and I. cant. wait!! Im the type of person who will usually talk my way into figuring out what it is, but Ive tried to step back on this one and Ry’s been strong on not telling me! But Im sooo excited to know where we’re going and what we’ll be doing! Gonna be AMAZING!!! He’s dropped some little hints…and i know its for our one year anniversary, but im trying not to think too hard about it, i dont wanna figure it out!

Christ:
So i wouldnt say Im off the path, in any way, shape, or form…but I am IMPETUOUSLY WANDERING! I seem to be making decisions, doing things, saying things, acting out without thinking of the later consequence. Or asking is this right? I haven’t considered Jesus in the picture at all. Like really? Who am I? Jesus is my everything! Jesus is my all! Jesus has shown me the path and I am happily walking down that path! But its about time I kick my spirit man into overdrive! I want to strive for God! I want to crave reading His word! I want to be overwhelmed and surround by His presence, His love, His glory, His grace!! Like I said I havent gone down the wrong path at all, just lost sight of the end. But all thats starting to change! I live so much more happily along side of Christ!! He gives me more Joy than any earthly thing ever could. Im pretty excited cause my boyfriend is getting sundays back!! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Haha. But really, im so excited he’s gonna have sundays to come to church with me and spend the rest of the day with either my family or his!

My Current Problems:
I get angry. Real easy. Real fast. And it could be about the stupidest little thing! But its not good. at all. Please pray for me!! Its a constant struggle, and really hard to admit because its something I took away from my father (one of the biggest things I despised) so Im taking the first step and realizing its an issue. And in Jesus name I will not let it control me! Its just so hard for those who are around me the most, and I am so thankful to be surrounded by so much love and patience that I dont deserve!

Don’t wanna be here.

Well…currently sitting in my oh so lovely math class. Writing to you from my tiny little keypad on my phone. Gosh this class is just awful. And when I say awful I mean AWFUL! I hate it. The worst. So boring. Not to mention, it smells! Like gross rotten eggs that have been smoking, ewh. This day has been allright so far. Had a presentation first thing this morning and now in the last class of the day. Hopefully soon to have an amazing lunch date with my beau! Today I’m just writing to write. So be prepared for some rambling nonsense that doesn’t even matter! Not quite sure what I’m craving for lunch. I’ve got some mixed feeling for sushi and mexican but can’t decide. I’m sure you could even say another type of food and it would tickle my fancy. But really, I’m starvinggg! Ahh, gosh. I made the worstt march dinner! Ya know my new years resolution…yeah it was pretty nasty! It looks delicious, but tasted like I was eating a whole lemon. Oh well, guess I gotta fail sometimes. :/ As many of you probably have no idea, my best friendd/roommate is in london! Yepp, good ole LONDON! I missssss her! But she’s off making incredible memories with her fam, sipping tea and looking at art! Jealous, why yes….of course I’m jealous! I wanna be in relaxation world! And especially france! Get me there now! Owah. Maybe one day! But for now I’m just slaving away at double dogs and living the life of the average college student. Eat when can, little sleep, and never ending to-do lists! THE LIFE! I really have enjoyed these past couple days just chillin with our pups and their sweet innocent little hearts! Lovee them so much! Sooooo, guess what! 5 daysssss until I’m 21! Eeek! Holler! I’m. So. Excited! Friday with my bestie, then Saturday with my boy in nashville, and Sunday with the family! Gonna be one of the besttt! Can’t wait! Wine coolers, wine coolers, wine coolers! Until later, hope ya’ll have an AMAZING GOOD FRIDAY! :D

To Shine.

Well headed back to good ole knoxville! Goodbye greensboro, thanks for giving us the pleasure of walking your streets, eating at your cutee little diners, and bring us together with our long lost friend Anthropologie. Gosh its just been a little too long since we had seen each other and it was a nice embracement and exchange of goods. I gave her money and she gave me new kitchen goodies! Ahh, so excited! We’re about halfway home and Im already ancy to see my man and my little girl LanaRae!!!! Me and my best friend tay miss our feline companions (AKA best friends/real people) SO MUCH! Time couldn’t go by any slower than it already is! Oooh and just for those of you who haven’t received your tax refunds yet…and still waiting…let me tell you hope is still out there! I JUST received mine (3 weeks later) and gosh is it JOYOUS! haha. Im so excited to finally be able to afford to get things done that have needed to be done. A couple being, a new prescription of contacts&glasses, my LanaRae getting spayed (Eeeeek!), and a much needed oil change! ha. Gosh living the life, i know! But other than the necessities…shopping spree HERE I COME!!!! Urban all the way babyyy! Being my signature store I spend at least a solid $300 buckaroos a year there! A simple treat to myself of course. But me and my boy are hopefully gonna be heading to good ole nashville this week sometime to get some goods! Cant wait! Umm, in other news…we have found a house! Ding ding! Maybe not “the one” but pretty darn perfect for a start! So looking forward to what God has planned for all of us! When there’s a will He makes a way! I trust Him to open the right doors and close the wrong ones! Hmmm, oh and for ya’ll who know my new years resolution…my february’s dinner was a huge success!! Even I liked it! haha. But for march Im struggling with ideas of what to make! It has to be chicken and involve no other meats. So if ya know of any amazing recipes please share!! ope ya’ll have an AMAZING rest of this beautiful sunday and talk to ya soon enough!

In His Arms.

In his arms I feel safe, in his arms I feel comfort, in his arms I feel strength, in his arms I feel love. Rushing through me from my emotions in my head to the tips of my tippy toes. Laying there I cant imagine wanting to be in anywhere else…but in his arms. It’s as if nothing else matters anymore, as if the world has paused for a moment and all is calm. As I’m bundled and perfectly molded to fit in his shapes and curves of sleep I feel like nothing can hurt me. That there is no darkness. There is no devil. And nothing is able to scare me. For those reading this who dont know me, Im very much afraid of fear, of darkness, and of anything that could possibly resemble an evil thing of this world. Whether it be a scary movie I watch or even just bits and pieces of a commercial for a scary movie…I just cant take it. That’s when HIS arms are around me telling me that He is there and He is my savior!

“The Lord will watch over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy” Psalm 145:20

So back on a positive note…Im just growing closer and closer to Ryan. At times there are faults, but I think thats just part of getting closer to someone. I start to find out more and more about him and then I get comfortable and realize his strengths, his weaknesses, what makes him mad, what makes him happy and use all those new found facts in ways that aren’t even intentional. Some can be good, and some are bad. But all together I lovee him so much and am so happy that I have him by my side. He never ceases to make me happy and constantly smiling. Yeah everyone has their moments of failing.But I just gotta look past all that and see how much the good days outweigh the bad or just so so days. With tax return coming up anytime now I couldnt be more EXCITED!!! Ahh time to treat myself, finally. Haha. Also my 21 BIRTHDAY!! Gosh, right around the corner. Hello World! Last great birthday till Im over the hill. Ha. Lets make it good! :) Other than all that craziness Im hoping to get off work to go to a conference with my best friendd/roommate taylor! Its her mom speaking in north carolina! ding ding! Girl time/sleepovers/retail therapy/cute coffee shops/downtown/poloroid pictures. Can you say HOLLA! Oh speaking of job, I got a new one! At a sports bar called Double Dogs! T-shirt, jeans, sneaks, and my NOSE PIERCING! Finallyyyy! Gosh I missed that sucker. Getting it re-pierced this sunday, thank sweet baby Jesus! But pretty excited about the new atmosphere, but a tiny but nervous. So here’s to my second day training!
Ya’ll have an AMAZINGG DAY!
PAUSE and let you light SHINE!
<3 <3 <3

be mine.

well…with valentines day just passing, thought I’d go with a little nifty title. haha. Hmm, where to begin! Well life is incredible!! Guess thats a good place to start! Still going through the choosing joy book and its continuing to change my life! They way I look at situations, the way I handle situations, my actions, my thoughts, my words. It all revolves around being joyful! And let me tell you, God is doing BIG things! HUGE things..not only in my life, my all the ones who surround me too! And its amazing to be able to sit back and watch it all unfold! And its like through it all He is asking me to just give it all to Him and BE MINE. God wants us to give Him our all and unload any problems, worries, or stress we have! On another note Im all moved in and settled in the new room, whoop whoop! Good times, funn times, great times! I love  being surrounded by all the people I love 24/7! Who could ask for more?! Its sleepovers, movie nights, game nights, and all the time laughter and happiness! I honestly couldn’t be happier at this point in my life! I only wish my other two best friends abs&key were here to be with us! That would just be the icing on the cupcake! :) with spring break and tax refunds right around the corner life’s just breezin on by! Holla holla. Allright dont wanna be that annoying mushy girlfriend who raves about valentines day,,,BUT it was amazing! :) Happy happy happy. Gosh ryan went above and beyond what I had expected and made it the best most special romantic first valentines day a girl could ever have! I literally could not stop smiling the entire night! He means THE WORLD to me and I cant be more grateful to God for allowing Him to share him with me and bringing us together! So, thats all im gonna spill of that! ha.

FREEEEZING.

HOLY MOLY GAUCOMOLE!!!! It is SO dang cold outsideeee! Geez louise! I hate when lana scratches at the door. Three fourths of the time its cause she wants to go out and play…one fourth of the time its cause she actually has to go to the bathroom! So with this being the case she most definitely takes advantage of me and usually gets to go out. Even though its 10 degrees below zero outside and she takes her good ole time out there I just cant send her mixed signals by not letting her when she “cries wolf”. Ughh. So dang freakin annoying and pisses me the heck off. Now seeing as how im not  a person who reacts in an angry way…I blow up over this! Going around the house screaming mumbo jumbo words just to let out all the steam of me spending a solid 30 minutes chasing my dog back inside. She can be such a brat! its ridiculous. Now for some reason lately i’ve been having awful nightmares. Not the kind that make me scared to sleep in the dark, but the kind where the happily ever after ending falls apart. Where something or another happens between me and my boyfriend and i end up all alone. Lonely, scared, and emptier than ever before. I know it shouldn’t affect anything in our relationship, but I feel like it is. I get scared now during happy moments to actually be happy cause that just means im becoming closer and closer to him. Which also means Im more vulnerable in the end. Gosh I haven’t been like this in such a long time. It sucks. I want these bad dreams to just go away. I cant take living life like he’s gonna leave. I dont even wanna think about it. I wont let the devil in my mind or my dreams! It’s satan talking and i wont have it.

On a different note, school starts back tomorrow! Gosh. excited, but not excited. 15 hours on top of a 40 hour work week. A little too much, but we’ll see how I do! I have 3 classes with a good friend jessica which will be nice, and I do have a joke of a major…but I still feel like with all the busy work I’m going to go into overload! Ha. Lana Rae is getting HUGEEE! Oh my gosh! it’s crazyy! Just the other day she was so little and tiny and now she’s gigantic! It came out of nowhere too! I thought I’d never see the day when she wasnt a little girl, and now I wish those days were back! Other than all that, life’s pretty dang AMAZINGG! I really couldnt ask for anything more. God is looking out for us and will continually provide! :)

Favorite pic from the LA trip…

ABSTRACT.

Abstract. Abstact. Abstract.
All thats been going through my head.
Over and over and over again.
Gosh.
My last painting is coming up and due tomorrow.
What a little mess of stress it is!
I lovee art but putting a time limit on it just isnt fair.
How can it truly be organic if Im being pressured to make rash decisions in small amounts of time? Crazy!! So other than art only one more final to go and IM DONEEE!! Holla holla. It’s gonna be so nice to just relax, clean the house, wrap presents, shop for christmas, and just enjoy and soak up the holidays! Lovee it! My life seems to be falling into place so perfectly! Living with ryan has been amazing and so much fun! He’s helping me to learn my strengths and my weaknesses. Where I need to work on myself and where I can ask for help. Pride is such a HUGE word in my life. Its so hard for me to let go of being in control…which of course I get from my dad. He’s a control freakk! Not saying its a bad thing, but at the point where you can let someone else help you…its a problem. Idk if cause I’ve always been so independent, but those ways seem to sway right back into my head when its time to get stuff accomplished, or letting him pay. I just cant allow myself to let him do it all himself. CONTROLLING. i know. I want to still have my hands on the reigns and not relinquish anything that makes me seem dependent. Gahh. Workin on it! Soooooooo excited to go to Louisiana!!!! Miss all my family and cant wait for them to all meet LanaRae and Ryan! Eeeek! Gonna be so much fun! Road trips. Christmas. Packing. Joyfulness. Road trips. Snacks. Family. Laughter. Presents! SO GREAT! 11 DAYS AWAY!!

STABLE.

So for those of you who don’t know…I, katelyn cooper, have a boyfrienddd! Eeek! Craziness, all over the place! Haha. I’m absolutely estatic! Literally don’t think I could be happier! :) Same boy who I’ve been talking about in previous blogs and he is still being incredible! So naturally I’m already nit picking at the little things he does that bugs me. And not only picking them out, but tragically saying them out loud to him. Gosh I need to get better at that. I want to be sweeter, kinder, more gentle. Sometimes I come off kinda harsh, and even though thats not who I’m meaning to be it still hurts when words are arranged in a certain way. So..on that note I am trying to change my old ways! Time to be humble, more considerate, maybe not care as much about the little things. It is a trait that has consequently been shadowed down from my father to me. I am the spitting image of his personality….BLUHH. Sorry I think I just threw up a little. That makes me sickk. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would say that. All my life I’ve tried to stay away from his ways of communication, and yet here I am doing the same thing I said I would never do. I could cry. But I won’t. I’m stronger than that! God can help me through all this and guide me towards who he made me to be and break the mold of my families faults. It’s just hard. But what isn’t these days. Nothings handed on a silver platter anymore. This new relationship is just starting to work its way into my life, my thoughts, my actions, my words, and especially my heart!  Its so fun to use the word boyfriend! Im obsessed. Haha. What’s even better is when they ask who and I get the pleasure of showing him off as the smile on my face ceases to ever show signs of leaving! Gosh the more I’m to myself the more I think about him. What he’s doing. Where he’s at. What he’s thinking about. Ridiculous right? What’s even scarier is I can kinda….alright no judgement here, or am I literally speaking…but just hypothetically, I could kinda see myself with him the rest of my life. Woahh now is right! I just went there. And yes so soon. Its been like what, a month? Absurd. I may or may not have gone crazy. Outta mah mind! But I just feel so comfortable, and safe, and loved! All aspects of my future husband. Along with loving Jesus, and my family, and my lifestyle! Oh and Lana Rae!!!! Our new little puppy we got together! Which of course there are picture to come. But like I said…just saying! Haha. If ya’ll have any stories to share hit up the comment box! I’d love to hear! And on that note I will leave you with a goodbye, adios, see ya later homies!

The booth.

Okay so you know those cliche photo strips?! Well I may or may not be obsessed. Haha. Black and white. Vintage. Memories. Happy moments. Spontaneous emotions! Gosh, you just can’t get any better! But sitting in the booth, between the 3 whole seconds they give us to rearrange our faces, so many things started going through my head. The smiles , the laughter, the closeness all seems to be like a dream. somebody pinch me. The sweetness of holding hands and the security of being close all rush through me as if he’ll always be there. Not as just a person to be with, but as a best friend too. Someone I can trust, and count on being there. Someone I tell all my secrets to, confide in, or let go with. Someone who I can be myself around. Someone to be crazy with, or to look at crazy. Getting excited to tell them about your day or just being content not talking at all. It’s the exciting adventure of getting to know every little detail about their past, their everyday, and their plans for ahead. Letting myself open up, to be vulnerable, to be nervous, to be all the normal things that can be. The photo booth pictures seem to be frozen images of the goodness to come. The happiness within me, and the quirkiness of this relationship. All I keep doing is smiling! God is definitely working in me and in this! He is taking me along the path of the long and narrow, but its gonna be so worth it. It feels so comforting. To know that I don’t have to worry or do things on my own. That He has it all planned out already!