Bliss.

This is, happiness!
The season. The friends. The love of my life!

Here’s to 2014! Everything feels so surreal! I have a great job, although I’m still serving in a restaurant…it’s a job, and I make great money! I have great friends who are there for me…whether it  be to vent, to go out to dinner, to go to the dog park, to go get sushi, to catch up with, to have rainy movie days, to dye our hair, or to cut my hair! :) They are there. and I love them! I have a great family, both mine & his! Both there to support me in any endeavor I may find myself in, path I may be strolling down, or jump I may be risking to take. They are there ready to encourage, support and challenge me! And of course I have a great boyfriend! One who loves me no matter what. Who is there to meet my every need (the simple needs of a girlfriend that is) haha. Who tells me I’m beautiful and still seems to sweep me off my feet. One to lay in bed with on a cold afternoon and watch the Lorax. Or to go out and have a fun filled day out and about. One who likes to take me out, and opens my door for me! One who snuggles up close and kisses me softly! One who is patient and loving and kind enough to explain every little part of football, even when I still don’t seem to understand what’s going on. The guy who loves to make me breakfast in bed and wants to take my dog to the park! The guy who makes me smile uncontrollably and laugh with total abandon. Is this real life?? How did I end up this blessed! Trying new things, cooking new things. This is today. This is me. This is my life! And I couldn’t be more grateful!

This is, bliss.

Tis’ the Season!

It’s almost Fall here in the the good ole Tennessee Valley!
And man oh man am I ready!
SO much that the month of September entails!

FIRST, we have my personal favorites…
Scarves. Boots. AND coffee!!

SECONDLY, we have THE FAIR!
To sum it up=a giddy & child-like me, haha. Where my better half isn’t too fond of mass crowds full of sugar crazed kids and an obnoxious array of smells. He puts up with it once a year just for me to get my fill of funnel cakes, ferris wheel rides, carmel apples {on the occasion} and a plethora of carnival festivities! Can I add how thankful I am for his cooperation and willingness to make me happy! :)

THEN we have the season!
the breeze. multi-colored leaves. the 70s. pumpkins. bonfires. spices. & pies.
I am obsessed with this weather, not only is it a best friend to my closet, but it puts me in such a happy mood! I love just sitting on my back porch with coffee in hand embracing the beautifully painted masterpiece surrounding me!

And of course, I can’t leave out the pies!
I am determined to perfect THE HOMEMADE PIE!
Apple, Blueberry, Blackberry…I’m all on it!

Well, here’s to fall!
Grab some cider and toast with me!

in this moment.

No regrets.

New Obsession.
Elbow Patches.

Once an artist.
Always an artist.

Caught in a ray of sunshine! Blessed by God!
Can’t stop smiling, couldn’t be happier.
Can’t wait to be married one day.
Every girl’s dream.
To be unconditionally loved.

SEVEN more days till my new HOME.

KEEP A SECRET…NEW TATTOO=April 15th.

APRIL.

Gahh Lee!!!!
I am beyond BLESSED! Literally, beyond. April here we come!!!
It is gonna be the BEST BIRTHDAY MONTH yet! Taking in each day alongside Christ and I could not be happier! We’ve had amazing beautiful weather that makes you wanna just walk around grinning from cheek to cheek! And I have so much support and love surrounding me at all sides! My immediate family as well as my boyfriends family! I loveee them with all of me and couldn’t be more thankful for everything they do for me!! The past few months have been crazy but with them, Jesus, and my friends…I’ve made it!!
Everything has fallen into place all in God’s timing and I’m sooo excitedddd!!!
Geez SO much going on in APRIL! Where do I even begin?!

THE APARTMENT.
So I got the apartment! Whoop Whoop! Move-in day is APRIL 7th ya’ll! I feel like this new place is gonna change my life!! Haha dorky? maybe. But it’s honestly like a whole new chapter. My OWN place. With my little bedroom, bath, living room, dining room and kitchen! Eeek!! Me and Lana doin what we want, when we want! I can’t wait to decorate everything and get settled in! And I’m excited to paint!! Think I’m gonna do some accent walls. But haven’t really decided on what and where. I’ve been doing some apartment shopping (which is soo much fun when you actually have money btw) haha. And Im the proud new owner of pots, pans, tubberware, cutting boards, a couch, and entertainment center!!! Holy cow.
13 days.

           

 

BIRTHDAYS.
So people say April is the month of showers. Literally, yes. Figuratively, most definitely! God has been showering me with blessing after blessing, along with HIS grace, mercy, and love! Not only is this MY BIRTHDAY month. But it’s all of the people I love soo much’s too! Christy, bekah, my brother, and my two best friends!! Eeek! What a great month full of JOY, LOVE, and HAPPINESS!
So…TWENTY-TWO! Whooo Hooo!

Can’t believe I’m in my twenties already, let alone past the age of being able to legally drink. But with this age, and this month. It’s bringing a whole new light to my life. A maturity if you will. A confidence. An air about myself. I’ll be on my own again and this time it’s literally just me.
Well me and LanaRae. haha. It’s a whole new journey! And I gotta admit…IM SO EXCITEDD!! For everything twenty-two has in store! So I’ve been shopping for the apartment so much, making sure I’m prepared and all…I haven’t really gotten to spend any “me” money!

So with it being my birthday…it seems fit to spill my birthday wishes!Umm….YES PLEASEEE!!!
But I guess these are more realistic…haha.
So if the apartment isn’t a big enough birthday present to myself…I would love a pair of black hunter rainboots!! Also in love with this purple-y down jacket made by Columbia! Umm…maybe throw in some packages of 600 polaroid film, oh and Viva La Juicy! Other than that…just whatever is cute and petite and vintage like or would be good for a new home!
17 DAYS.

RYAN COMING HOME.
Ahh geez. Lets see.
Excited. Nervous. Thrilled. Scared. Can’t Wait. Vulnerable.
It’s been soo long since I’ve seen his face. Since I’ve heard his voice. Since I’ve held his hand. Or kissed his lips. I miss movie nights. date nights. makin dinner together. waking up next to him. snuggling against his body. being the little spoon. makin out. hookin up. going to the park. going to play disc golf. Gosh the memories are endless.
In two days it’ll be a year and a half.
A YEAR AND A HALF!

Seems like eternity. Gosh, how in the heck did I get this far with someone?!! Only God! Cause He knows me and my heart! The only reason I’ve made it these past three months without ry, is CHRIST. I love this boy with everythingg in me and cannot WAIT for all God has in store for us! The way he wants to lead us, guide us, direct our path! Our relationship is in HIS hands. But like I said I’m scared. Scared of ever being hurt. And nervous. Nervous to allow myself to be vulnerable. Not gonna lie, I dont think it’s gonna be easy what. so. ever. But who knows, maybe everything will be great and go right back to normal with no hesitations. I want him homeeee! The anticipation is killing me!
33 DAYS.

TO BE.

Smile every chance you get.  Not because life has been easy, perfect, or exactly as you had anticipated, but because you choose to be happy and grateful for all the good things you do have and all the problems you know you don’t have.

-Unknown.

This week=crazy!
My expectations have been shattered!
The Lord has done and shown me so many things this week!

I feel loved. I feel whole. I feel NEW!
Sunday is the beginning of the new week.
And my week started with all new wisdom! Wisdom about who I am in Christ, who I wanna be in Christ, and what I want to be for ryan in Christ! To be so blinded by the fact that ryan is gone, I almost missed the biggest picture that God is trying to lay out before me! A picture that will not only help me in this time of need and strengthen our relationship, but strengthen ME!! Wow…hope you’re comfy and settled in a nice little spot, cause this make take a hot second!

So at first I was mad. I was sad. I was angry.
That God would put me in a situation where the (ONE PERSON) who makes me the happiest is a million miles away. With no way of meeting my expectations of always being happy.
FAIL. FAIL. FAIL.
This is my epiphany.
The light bulb that shot off fireworks.
One Person.
He is just one person.
And that my friend, is not right nor fair for anyone!!
I can’t believe I’m the one who was pushing him away, ME!
SINCE WHEN!! Was I this person??
Never in my life have i been a DEPENDENT person.
Never.
And the word itself makes me cringe a little.
Maybe that’s why…maybe that’s why I’ve never fully given all of myself to Christ. The fear of being completely dependent on ONE person. But yet here I am, a person who was depending on one person to make me happy! Ridiculous.

So (whoo hoo) step one admitted.
I’ve been so unfair to completely rely on ryan to make me happy.
Which in the end will just smother him and distance us.
I know, like distance is even a issue right now….
but really, for the long run of our relationship! It’s only gonna make us stronger!
And I honestly have already seen a change, not only in the situation but in me!
I’ve been hanging out with all my friends more, working my butt off, and loving my park days with LanaRae!
Every day has been Christ and Christ alone!! Depending and trusting HIM FULLY every step of the way! I wouldn’t be able to do it without HIM!

Step two, getting into a community. A christian group of people who I can fellowship with and who challenge me to grow stronger in Chirst! Sunday I went with my boyfriends mom to a bible study, hesitant…I was. But OH MY GOSH was it amazing!!!!! Even though the majority of the ladies were married it was such an incredible time of fellowship and digging into their current book, TIm Kellers, The Meaning of Marriage. And even though I’m not married yet…I will be one day and everything they were talking about were things I can apply to my relationship now! Which gets me so excited for the future!! I want to be there spiritually for my husband, and lift him up to God, and encourage him everyday, and challenge him in his walk with Chirst!
Ahhhh!!!
Can you tell I’m excited!!!
God could not have shown up more than He already has! Wow.

So step three, starting to re-mend my relationship with my dad.
Everything is a lot better than it was, and I love my dad
BUT
For now we’re just gonna skip this step….
I still have a lot of praying to do.

Step four, moving out.
Now this has been quite complicated.
But Im just gonna have faith that if this is God’s plan then it’ll all work out and be just fine.

To Love.

Just listen.
If you have the time that is…

Take care of those you love first.
And the happiest you’ll ever be, is right where you are.

THANKFUL.

fear |fi(ə)r|
an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that
someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

PSALM 145:20
The Lord watches over all who love Him,
but all the wicked He will destroy.

fear to me is a lot of things…
Lets start with right now.
Right now I’m currently all moved in with my grandparetns. And by all…I mean I have some closet space, a place to store my food, a bed, and my LanaRae! Now not throwing my self a pity party , but it’s definitely not how I imagined the rest of 2012 would go. But that’s when I have to remember that this is not in my hands anymore, it’s in Gods. And I’ve been so blessed to have a family that’ll just let me crash their lifestyle for awhile until I can get back on my feet again. What scares me though…is what’s gonna happen next? What’s my next move gonna be? Where’s it gonna be? Who’s it gonna be with? At this point I literally have no answers, and that to me…is scary! I’m the type of girl who likes to have a plan. All figured out and set in place. But God is slowly starting to break me of that. Little by little He is doing things that MAKE ME rely on Him, and put all my trust in HIM! Which has been honestly life changing! I know all this change happening so sudden and so fast wasn’t too convenient for the worldly side of me, but Im so happy at where I’m at now that I’ve given God full control! I’ve been a happier person, and definitely more JOYFUL! And I feel the spiritual side of me feels so much closer to God now than I have in a really long time! Now I can’t let moving take all the credit, me and my boyfriend finally got back in church and he has been amazingly persistent on staying strong and putting God first! Keeping me accountable on living a God-centered life!

So we’ve been dating for over a year now and it’s been amazing!! Obviously no relationship is perfect (which I know I still can’t get through my head sometimes) but for what we have and what we’ve had….it’s been pretty darn close!! Despite the struggles, up and downs, and emotional sometimes crazy me I wouldn’t trade it for ANYTHING. I love that boy with all my heart and have had the best times I’ll never forget with him! He can make me laugh harder than anyone else and smile bigger than my happiest days. I never really understood dating until now, but being moved apart from living right next door has opened my heart to giving him his space and that space not being a bad thing. Before I thought if we weren’t together something was wrong. But im (slowly) realizing how relationships work, and how sometimes he may just want to be to himself, or want to hang with his friends. Its really hard, only because I feel like were going backwards rather than forwards….but I feel like once again it’s in God’s hands and this is what’s meant to happen. That starting off fresh and “going backwards” a little is only helping us to go forward stronger!

So that leads me to fear in the future..
So I’d say I’m starting to get a hang of giving ry his own time, his space. But here in the next month and a half he’s bout to have A LOT of spacee!! Erg. PAUSE. Let me begin my saying that he has been given a once in a lifetime amazing opportunity to study abroad in spain! Amazing, right?! I could not be happier for him to get to experience Spain! It’s culture, it’s heritage, it’s beauty, it’s views! All the people and the the food! Gosh I couldn’t be more jealous!!! And all while still going to school over there to study what he loves! It’s literally perfect! the only downside……………..it’s. five. moths. Five whole months!!!!! Of being away from me!!  Oh yeah, this is where I get scared! Now I get to be a little selfish (just a little). What the heck am I gonna do for five months?!!! I mean I know I’ll find stuff to occupy myself, maybe. But I won’t get daily communication. I wont get to hug him, kiss him, wrap my arms around him! No watching a movie snuggled up into him with his warm body against mine! No date nights. Literally no physical love. Ugghh. I need his fellowship! Im sure it’ll fly by. And I have lots of family, mine and his, who are all here to love on me while he’s gone….but it just sucks. And the worst part is he’s gonna be way too busy to care. I know he does, but Spain is just going to envelop his everything and become his new life. I’ll just be outta sight outta mind. :/ now i know five months will be forever for me, but for him it’ll seem like nothing! Im happy he gets to stay long enough to really get a grasp and enjoy spain after the initial awe of it all!

So to all you out there reading this, please pray!! Pray for me, pray for him, pray for our relationships with Christ, pray for safety in spain!

A Little Less. A lot More.

Listen while you read!

So be prepared.
It’s been way too long…

It feels like today took forever to come. And then before I knew it, it was here, ONE YEAR. I have officially been dating my boyfriend one year! And yet it feels like a century. It’s been an amazing, crazy, smile filled journey that I wouldn’t trade for anything! I truly love this man of God with all my heart and can’t see my life without him.

Which scares me more than you’ll ever know.

A year ago today I wasn’t like this. I had my head on my shoulders with no one but myself to worry about. With no cares, no stress, no crazy emotional me. And now…here I am jealous, dependant, fearful, and full of emotions. Gosh I dont know what to do with myself! Im not as confident as I used to be, Im not in church as much as I’d like to be, I have no friends to fellowship with, and I feel like I need ryan to be with me or I fall apart! I dont like this me! I like independent me. Well not like single me, but the way I acted and carried myself when I was single. And Im sure ryan would that me more too.
Just sucks. I need help. I need Christ. I need friends. I love ry with all my heart and cant wait until we have a future together, but for right now i think living next door to each other is hindering our relationship. Just having one another always there gives no room for missing each other, or wanting to see each other, or that desire to do anything because we’re a wall away. This being my first relationship Im still getting my toes wet, and everything im doing is laying down new ground thats never been traveled. So I feel like I never got the story book side. Where I get picked up for dates, and left little sweet notes, and presents for no reason. Now I know im probably being completely foolish and selfish, but sometimes I feel like our living situation has taken that away from me. Which is my own fault.
Hopefully God has this all in His plan, and His timing! Because I surly don’t know what to do! But for now…Im giving it all to Him. Surrendering and handing all I have over to Him. I no longer want to worry or be scared. I want to live free in His glory and joy. I want to hold my head up with confidence and take in every moment I’m given!

LIGHTS.

I. am. BLESSED!

So the new job is absolutely an answered prayer!! Thank you Jesus for bringing this job my way, honestly perfect timing.

But to be real, wasn’t the best at first. It was so much to get done, ya know, checking things off the list to be able to work there and getting all my paperwork finished. Then on top of that it was my last week at my serving job. Just imagine…a bossy, old(soon to be retired), grumpy manager just dwindling down your attitude because you’re leaving his company soon. Doesnt quite put me in the best of moods. But thankfully it was my final and last day ever serving again! No more stress. No more stinky restaurant clothes. No more aprons. No more working nights, weekends or holidays.
Someone got themselves a big girl job!!….well kinda. Haha.
But I could not be in a happier point in my life right now! Not everything is going my way, but if it was then I wouldnt be able to appreciate all that was! So stepping to the side and looking at all that I have to be thankful for has been the best thing for me recently! God has given me an amazing loving family, an awesome sister/best friend/roommate, a loving, happy, full of joy LanaRae and an incredible one of a kind boyfriend! I would be crazy to have any reason to not be constantly thankful!! JOY has graciously showered down upon me recently and its been so nice to regain all that I once had not too long ago!
So in this consistent state of being happy and in a good mood I have found myself giddy like a child! Its back to little things. Like tickle fights. Cozied up snuggling. Bubble baths. Snorting. Laughing uncontrollably and way TOO loud! Haha. Its so comforting to be in the hands of the Lord!
The only tough patch in it all is the absence of a paycheck. Gosh, ya gotta know how hard it can be to go 4 weeks in between switching jobs with just no income. Straight craziness! Let me say. The devil will not win this battle now or ever. I watched him destroy my family with financial struggles and I wont allow him to do it again. So with all that I have in me Im just praying and trusting the Lord to watch over me and have faith He will provide! He always does! I just hope my eyes are open enough to be ale to recognize the little things! But through it all I have been SO undeservingly blessed by my boyfriend!! He has been there to hold my hand and walk me through it. And thankfully he has been blessed to be making the money he needs for his trip and also help me out with dinners lunches or date nights! Gahh, just LOVE him with all thats in me! Cant wait for our surprise trip in october! So excited!! Ill fill you in with more details to come!

Dont forget to PAUSE and SHINE you’re light!!

From divine to disaster.

So here’s how the week started…
Allright, as many of you dont know,,,I got a new job!!! Yay!! And wanna take any guesses on where?! YUPP, a preschool facility!! Holy Moly Excited!! Exactly what I was just telling you about and praying for! Thank you Jesus! Words cannot describe the JOY in my heart when she said I would be perfect for their school! My major is elementary education and this is literally what my major is all about! Not only am I gonna be obsessed with my job and all the little kiddos around me, but ill be still in school working towards my bachelors and building onto my resume for a career in teaching at a school! BLESSED. Thats really all there is to say about it! So that just built my week up to an all time high! Then the week followed with my mundane serving job, not so pleasant. But on the bright side of that only a week and a half to go! Whoo Hoo! The week started to wind down with good ole family sundays, and man are those fulfilling! Something about bringing the whole family together and all enjoying each others fellowship that makes my heart smile! :) Well the day was gonna end just perfectly by heading down to the dog park with my LanaRae, and well that didnt really go as planned. Walked in the door to a house enveloped in the smell of straight poop. Gross right?? Yeah tell me about it. Her crate, covered. The walls surrounding her crate, covered. The floor, covered. Lana Rae, covered. All in diarrhea. Ab-sol-ute-ly aw-ful. Honest to goodness I dont know how I managed to not throw up. So we get everything outside and my bright mind decides we’re STILL going to the dog park. I wasnt gonna let the devil ruin my good day/week. So we get in the car and about two solid minutes down the road Lana starts squirtin’ everywhere on my seats. Nasty!! I FREAK OUT, to all of you who know my personality, and start to panic…slowing down, putting on my brakes, swerving all over the road, screaming at lana,,,cause im at this point confused and angered. So as I proceed to abruptly make a u-turn of course lana is just rolling in her matter at this point, continuing to cover herself. Gross, once again! So we get home and I’ve got A MESS to handle. Yeah, this day topped my worse days ever chart! Imagine. Thankfully I had my mom there to hold the walmart bag while I scrubbed and wiped and srcubbed and wiped and used at least two whole rolls of papertowels. Gosh what a day. Thankfully I’m now sitting here, writing to you on my clean sheets, in my clean room, with my clean self, and clean Lana Rae laying next to me! Haha.
Until next time…

IMPETUOUSLY WANDERING.

impetuous |imˈpe ch oōəs|
adjective
acting or done quickly and without thought or care

This is me.
Currently.

Right now:
Im taking the summer to work, relax, get things done, and continue to fall head over heels for the one I love. That means trying to make money, spending that money, and continuing to passionately pursue my boyfriend in a loving, healthy, devoted, vulnerable, Godly manner. Gosh the privilege of being a girl sucks sometimes though. Besides the  monthly hey how ya doin’ emotional roller coaster, it seemed to a pretty rough month all together!
Man was it not pleasant to be around me!

The Job:
Well a day never ceases to pass where I’m not at work serving people food and asking “Would you like fries with that?” But I’d have to say that there is never a dull day serving in a sports bar and its one of the best jobs I’ve had in a long while! Even though I get those few people who just dont seem to care for life or being happy what.so.ever., I can never keep a smile off my face serving others. Im not sure if its the people, the atmosphere, or just the fact of being surrounded by a community of people who all wanna talk! But Im starting to find myself wanting a new job, dont get me wrong…I make really good money and love what I do but I’d like a solid 9 to 5 job, monday through friday. Is that too much to ask?! I think not! Ha. What Im really lookin for is a job at the childrens hospital or maybe interning at a school or daycare facility! Something that follows along the lines of my future career would be AMAZING!

The Boy:
Gosh has it been one of the most INCREDIBLE rides of my LIFE!! Tomorrow will be 9 months with my boyfriend!! NINE MONTHS! Feels crazy to say, crazy to write. I honestly cant believe how Gods timing works and how he put me in the perfect place at the perfect time to be able to find Ryan! And to think how gracious God is to share him with me and allow me to just be the utmost of who I really am with him! I laugh, I cry, I go through every single emotion a healthy relationship should! But the best part of it all is I truly cant imagine my life any other way! Right here and right now is the happiest I’ve been in forever! He makes me smile SOO much that my mouth starts to hurt and I start to feel like its unreal, some kind of dream that God has given me the privilege of being part of! So life changing! Sooo on a side note my man has set up a surprise! Eeek! We’re gonna be going sometime in August and I. cant. wait!! Im the type of person who will usually talk my way into figuring out what it is, but Ive tried to step back on this one and Ry’s been strong on not telling me! But Im sooo excited to know where we’re going and what we’ll be doing! Gonna be AMAZING!!! He’s dropped some little hints…and i know its for our one year anniversary, but im trying not to think too hard about it, i dont wanna figure it out!

Christ:
So i wouldnt say Im off the path, in any way, shape, or form…but I am IMPETUOUSLY WANDERING! I seem to be making decisions, doing things, saying things, acting out without thinking of the later consequence. Or asking is this right? I haven’t considered Jesus in the picture at all. Like really? Who am I? Jesus is my everything! Jesus is my all! Jesus has shown me the path and I am happily walking down that path! But its about time I kick my spirit man into overdrive! I want to strive for God! I want to crave reading His word! I want to be overwhelmed and surround by His presence, His love, His glory, His grace!! Like I said I havent gone down the wrong path at all, just lost sight of the end. But all thats starting to change! I live so much more happily along side of Christ!! He gives me more Joy than any earthly thing ever could. Im pretty excited cause my boyfriend is getting sundays back!! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! Haha. But really, im so excited he’s gonna have sundays to come to church with me and spend the rest of the day with either my family or his!

My Current Problems:
I get angry. Real easy. Real fast. And it could be about the stupidest little thing! But its not good. at all. Please pray for me!! Its a constant struggle, and really hard to admit because its something I took away from my father (one of the biggest things I despised) so Im taking the first step and realizing its an issue. And in Jesus name I will not let it control me! Its just so hard for those who are around me the most, and I am so thankful to be surrounded by so much love and patience that I dont deserve!

PICTURE this…

Well, well, well….it’s been quite a bit since I’ve talked to you! Ha. Life has been so crazy, exciting, happy, sad, JOYFUL, emotional, and mostly exhausting. I haven’t really been living true to my tattoo and PAUSEing. Ugh, it can just be so hard…when everything else surrounding you is go go go go. I feel like no matter what Im always trying to catch up! Thank JESUS it is finally summer!!!! Yayy! Ahh, what a blessing in itself! So sundays around here are family days, and man do i LOVE sundays. I could cry right now thinking about it…they’re so joyful and happy, and careless, and an abundance of never-ending loveeee!! It fills my heart with all the missing pieces from throughout the week, the true meaning of family kicks in and everyone comes together to just BE. whether it be just watching tv in the same room, or catching up on weekly stories, grilling out, playing board games, or even(i cant believe im saying this) disc golfing together…no matter the activity it brings my family even closer together and fills my heart with love and compassion and support, in which i need all! I think i might be going through a rough patch in my life. Now dont fret, its nothing to worry bout, stop that,,, i can see you worrying through my computer screen!! haha. mom. but just a spot in my life where Jesus is trying to bring be to a better and closer relationship with Him, and in order to do so Im being tested, drilled, questioned….how bad do you want Me? How bad do you want this? how bad to you want others to join with us in My Kingdom? Gosh, and when Jesus brings a challenge the devil sends an army. he wont win. he never does. My God is STRONGER than all of this!! And the best part is He’s on MY SIDE! :) HA! take that. But really,,,it’s been a struggle…but I will make it through all of this, its just hard right now! I feel like ive been someone who im not and apologize to all those who know me and love me. Im not trying to hurt you or push you away, its just been hard. And the devil CAN and WILL find any way to destroy anything good in my life. And i know im not fighting this alone, but sometimes it feels like it. so its hard to take anyones perspective cause they dont know what Im going through. Ahh, gosh, life on earth….such a joke. I cant waitttt to be in heaven! No worries, no stress, just JESUS! gonna be GLORIOUS!! SO while you’ve been gone, LOTS has happened.
PICTUREEEE TIMEEE!

We had a birthday,
MY BEST FRIENDDDS BIRTHDAYY!

the JIMMY(mycar) broke

LanaRae got spayed.
Look at her all INNOCENT!
 my food for april was chicken quesadillas,homemade guacamole,
and homemade banana pudding! mhmm, yeah is right! i hope your mouth is watering! haha.

we had a doggie pool day, and gosh was it sooo much funn!!

I got new TOMS!!

I rearranged my room!

ME & TAY HAD MUSTACHE ADVENTURES!!!

and of course everyday with this guy makes me smile even MORE! :)

IF ONLY…

If only I could freeze time.
If only I could start all over.
If only I could change the past…
But I can.
It’s not totally hopeless.
Things can be changed.
Things can be altered.
I can choose what I want,
and when I want it.
I just wish I had done things different.
I wish I had done things right.
I know everything seems so perfect,
but its really not.
I want to be home.
Surround and wrapped by comfort and love.
I want to be somewhere where nothing can touch me.
Thats why I have my best friend.
His name is Jesus.
He saves ME.
He lifts ME up.
He carries ME.
He holds MY hand.
He walks with ME.
He listens to ME.
He leads and guides ME,
to the places I need to be
and the steps I need to go
He shows ME what to do,
He shelters ME.
And all I need is HIM.
So why do I fill my heart with the things of this world.
The distractions, the chaos the clutter.
Its just empty hollow meaningless things.
Until you find His JOY!
Ahh HIS JOY!
It’s a bountiful, never-ending, ceaseless glow.
It can fill a room and envelop a space.
It goes wherever I go.
It leads me to those who are lost,
seeking to be found!
And fills their hearts with a KNOWN happiness!!
It brings me tears!
It brings me laughter!
It brings me…
HOPE
JOY
PEACE
COMFORT
LOVE
And smiles all around!
I honestly don’t know what I’d do without HIM.
If only…
It was the same for everyone else.

BIRTHDAY WISHES.

BEST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.
HANDS DOWN.
Gosh…I cannot put into words all the happiness&joy that took place on my birthday! It has literally been one of the best weeks of my life! So much love and support and encouragement from all areas of my life. My friends, my family, and my coworkers have all made this such an amazing day!! Starting with the leading up to my birthday dinner at hooters with my boyfriends family! Good times with some of the people i love the most! Then waking up next to the one I love, to eating cupcakes and scratching off lottery tickets for breakfast, to then meet my parents for lunch and have my first legal drink and open presents! So amazing! They went above and beyond on what they should have and I lovee what they got me. It was also soo delicious scarfing down my favorite mexican dish while sipping on my strawberry margarita! Mhmm! On to see some cute little kiddos who I oh so love! (You know,,,the hucks,,,the ones I used to live with) straight after I headed directly to kroger to stockk up mah fridge with all the wine coolers I LOVEE! Gosh I looked ridiculous walking through there with all those in hand. But proceeded to make it home safely with all bottles in tact! Then sadly I had to work! :/ stupid me for not asking off! But I still got to come home to my boy making me homemade fajitas with cheese dip, rice, and beans! Mhmm AGAIN! I can never get enough mexican food!! I honestly don’t understand how I’m not of the hispanic race. Haha. :) but really. Then to open my amazing presents from him! So sweet! What a day! Whew! So incredible! Only to wake up the next day to my besttt friend coming home from france! FINALLY I know! Eeek! Got some of the cutest presents from her from london!! Love! So we have been here and there eating out and enjoying the freedom of drinking. AT THE SAME TIME! Just craziness. geez. Its just so liberating and empowering to be able to do so. I’m obsessed. Ha. To say the least. I’m so blessed to be surrounded and loved by all the people I LOVE!

least.

To Shine.

Well headed back to good ole knoxville! Goodbye greensboro, thanks for giving us the pleasure of walking your streets, eating at your cutee little diners, and bring us together with our long lost friend Anthropologie. Gosh its just been a little too long since we had seen each other and it was a nice embracement and exchange of goods. I gave her money and she gave me new kitchen goodies! Ahh, so excited! We’re about halfway home and Im already ancy to see my man and my little girl LanaRae!!!! Me and my best friend tay miss our feline companions (AKA best friends/real people) SO MUCH! Time couldn’t go by any slower than it already is! Oooh and just for those of you who haven’t received your tax refunds yet…and still waiting…let me tell you hope is still out there! I JUST received mine (3 weeks later) and gosh is it JOYOUS! haha. Im so excited to finally be able to afford to get things done that have needed to be done. A couple being, a new prescription of contacts&glasses, my LanaRae getting spayed (Eeeeek!), and a much needed oil change! ha. Gosh living the life, i know! But other than the necessities…shopping spree HERE I COME!!!! Urban all the way babyyy! Being my signature store I spend at least a solid $300 buckaroos a year there! A simple treat to myself of course. But me and my boy are hopefully gonna be heading to good ole nashville this week sometime to get some goods! Cant wait! Umm, in other news…we have found a house! Ding ding! Maybe not “the one” but pretty darn perfect for a start! So looking forward to what God has planned for all of us! When there’s a will He makes a way! I trust Him to open the right doors and close the wrong ones! Hmmm, oh and for ya’ll who know my new years resolution…my february’s dinner was a huge success!! Even I liked it! haha. But for march Im struggling with ideas of what to make! It has to be chicken and involve no other meats. So if ya know of any amazing recipes please share!! ope ya’ll have an AMAZING rest of this beautiful sunday and talk to ya soon enough!

In His Arms.

In his arms I feel safe, in his arms I feel comfort, in his arms I feel strength, in his arms I feel love. Rushing through me from my emotions in my head to the tips of my tippy toes. Laying there I cant imagine wanting to be in anywhere else…but in his arms. It’s as if nothing else matters anymore, as if the world has paused for a moment and all is calm. As I’m bundled and perfectly molded to fit in his shapes and curves of sleep I feel like nothing can hurt me. That there is no darkness. There is no devil. And nothing is able to scare me. For those reading this who dont know me, Im very much afraid of fear, of darkness, and of anything that could possibly resemble an evil thing of this world. Whether it be a scary movie I watch or even just bits and pieces of a commercial for a scary movie…I just cant take it. That’s when HIS arms are around me telling me that He is there and He is my savior!

“The Lord will watch over all who love Him, but all the wicked He will destroy” Psalm 145:20

So back on a positive note…Im just growing closer and closer to Ryan. At times there are faults, but I think thats just part of getting closer to someone. I start to find out more and more about him and then I get comfortable and realize his strengths, his weaknesses, what makes him mad, what makes him happy and use all those new found facts in ways that aren’t even intentional. Some can be good, and some are bad. But all together I lovee him so much and am so happy that I have him by my side. He never ceases to make me happy and constantly smiling. Yeah everyone has their moments of failing.But I just gotta look past all that and see how much the good days outweigh the bad or just so so days. With tax return coming up anytime now I couldnt be more EXCITED!!! Ahh time to treat myself, finally. Haha. Also my 21 BIRTHDAY!! Gosh, right around the corner. Hello World! Last great birthday till Im over the hill. Ha. Lets make it good! :) Other than all that craziness Im hoping to get off work to go to a conference with my best friendd/roommate taylor! Its her mom speaking in north carolina! ding ding! Girl time/sleepovers/retail therapy/cute coffee shops/downtown/poloroid pictures. Can you say HOLLA! Oh speaking of job, I got a new one! At a sports bar called Double Dogs! T-shirt, jeans, sneaks, and my NOSE PIERCING! Finallyyyy! Gosh I missed that sucker. Getting it re-pierced this sunday, thank sweet baby Jesus! But pretty excited about the new atmosphere, but a tiny but nervous. So here’s to my second day training!
Ya’ll have an AMAZINGG DAY!
PAUSE and let you light SHINE!
<3 <3 <3

be mine.

well…with valentines day just passing, thought I’d go with a little nifty title. haha. Hmm, where to begin! Well life is incredible!! Guess thats a good place to start! Still going through the choosing joy book and its continuing to change my life! They way I look at situations, the way I handle situations, my actions, my thoughts, my words. It all revolves around being joyful! And let me tell you, God is doing BIG things! HUGE things..not only in my life, my all the ones who surround me too! And its amazing to be able to sit back and watch it all unfold! And its like through it all He is asking me to just give it all to Him and BE MINE. God wants us to give Him our all and unload any problems, worries, or stress we have! On another note Im all moved in and settled in the new room, whoop whoop! Good times, funn times, great times! I love  being surrounded by all the people I love 24/7! Who could ask for more?! Its sleepovers, movie nights, game nights, and all the time laughter and happiness! I honestly couldn’t be happier at this point in my life! I only wish my other two best friends abs&key were here to be with us! That would just be the icing on the cupcake! :) with spring break and tax refunds right around the corner life’s just breezin on by! Holla holla. Allright dont wanna be that annoying mushy girlfriend who raves about valentines day,,,BUT it was amazing! :) Happy happy happy. Gosh ryan went above and beyond what I had expected and made it the best most special romantic first valentines day a girl could ever have! I literally could not stop smiling the entire night! He means THE WORLD to me and I cant be more grateful to God for allowing Him to share him with me and bringing us together! So, thats all im gonna spill of that! ha.

FREEEEZING.

HOLY MOLY GAUCOMOLE!!!! It is SO dang cold outsideeee! Geez louise! I hate when lana scratches at the door. Three fourths of the time its cause she wants to go out and play…one fourth of the time its cause she actually has to go to the bathroom! So with this being the case she most definitely takes advantage of me and usually gets to go out. Even though its 10 degrees below zero outside and she takes her good ole time out there I just cant send her mixed signals by not letting her when she “cries wolf”. Ughh. So dang freakin annoying and pisses me the heck off. Now seeing as how im not  a person who reacts in an angry way…I blow up over this! Going around the house screaming mumbo jumbo words just to let out all the steam of me spending a solid 30 minutes chasing my dog back inside. She can be such a brat! its ridiculous. Now for some reason lately i’ve been having awful nightmares. Not the kind that make me scared to sleep in the dark, but the kind where the happily ever after ending falls apart. Where something or another happens between me and my boyfriend and i end up all alone. Lonely, scared, and emptier than ever before. I know it shouldn’t affect anything in our relationship, but I feel like it is. I get scared now during happy moments to actually be happy cause that just means im becoming closer and closer to him. Which also means Im more vulnerable in the end. Gosh I haven’t been like this in such a long time. It sucks. I want these bad dreams to just go away. I cant take living life like he’s gonna leave. I dont even wanna think about it. I wont let the devil in my mind or my dreams! It’s satan talking and i wont have it.

On a different note, school starts back tomorrow! Gosh. excited, but not excited. 15 hours on top of a 40 hour work week. A little too much, but we’ll see how I do! I have 3 classes with a good friend jessica which will be nice, and I do have a joke of a major…but I still feel like with all the busy work I’m going to go into overload! Ha. Lana Rae is getting HUGEEE! Oh my gosh! it’s crazyy! Just the other day she was so little and tiny and now she’s gigantic! It came out of nowhere too! I thought I’d never see the day when she wasnt a little girl, and now I wish those days were back! Other than all that, life’s pretty dang AMAZINGG! I really couldnt ask for anything more. God is looking out for us and will continually provide! :)

Favorite pic from the LA trip…

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Blah.
What a mess.
I feel like my life has decided to take a shortcut and ended up lost.
Not sure what to think really or what I should be doing to fix it, but I can tell you that I’ve noticed a change. Good change..maybe, bad change…possibly. The problem lies in the situation and I cant really decide if the situation is good or bad. For those of you who dont already know, or dont talk to me enough to find out…I have officially moved in with my boyfriend ryan! Yupp, i said it. MOVED IN. I’ll wait a couple seconds, let you soak it in, think about it, immediately start opposing, disliking, and disapproving the action. Now, here’s the thing. If your gonna have any words said…whether they be to yourself of someone else, I’d also like them said to me! I know people are talking and I know word is spreading like wildfire. Its a hot topic, im aware. But this is all new to me. Whether it be a bad decision or not it was my decision to make and I made it. Get over it. Who cares if I made the wrong one. I’ll just go from here and learn from my mistakes. But it’d be nice to have some advice, pointers, tips, or just support. I feel I have noone to talk to, no one who wants to listen, or just be there to say hey Im here if ya need anything. Its whatever though. I dont mind being in this alone. And who’s to say it was wrong. In my eyes it seems perfectly reasonable. I practically live over here, we’re always together, and it seems smarter to be able to split the rent rather than him paying it all himself anyways. If I feel like we’re gonna be together in the end, then why not start building on that relationship now? I understand that morally its tempting and taunting at the chance of us having sex before we’re married. But lets be real, if we’ve both waited this long why screw it up? We’ve got a great thing going are getting to really know each other before any other big decisions are made. Its a closer and deeper friendship. Like living with your best friend…who just happens to be of the opposite sex..and the person you love!

So now that the big news is outta the way lets talk about life! School is almost over…thank sweet baby Jesus…and my walk with Christ just keeps getting better and better! He reveals new things to me each and everyday that help me to be stronger in Him and follow the path He’s set out for me to go down. Can I just say that the long and the narrow path is pretty dang hard. Life will seem to all be going so well then outta no where the devil will just try and get you down and discouraged by throwing obstacles in your way. Lately my attitude has been AWFUL! So thankful I have such an amazing boyfriend to put up with my crap. Hopefully that whole phase is over and done with though cause I hate being cranky. And feel awful for those around me. Still working on my patience and short temper, sadly I’m pretty sure I took that after my dad. Out of all his admirable qualities I pick one of the few I despised growing up, yay me! Friend wise, I pray the Lord brings new christian friends my way. He says we’re to have fellowship on a daily basis and I feel like I have none. Problem. My only true friends seem to be far and in between! On top of all this I miss my best friend taylor! A.k.a my old roommate! We had so many fun and exciting adventures together, and I dont want to lose that spontaneousness! I love it! I live for it! It’s what Im all about. In the moment. Dont look back. Just go for it! That crazy adventurous wild side that is up for anything at anytime. I haven’t really had that in my life the past few weeks and I need it desperately! To live up these college years and take full advantage of all the time I have!

I guess for now I’ll leave ya’ll with this update. Thanks for listening you few of you out there! 
P.s. I really really am truly happy! Everything seems to be so perfect! :)

STABLE.

So for those of you who don’t know…I, katelyn cooper, have a boyfrienddd! Eeek! Craziness, all over the place! Haha. I’m absolutely estatic! Literally don’t think I could be happier! :) Same boy who I’ve been talking about in previous blogs and he is still being incredible! So naturally I’m already nit picking at the little things he does that bugs me. And not only picking them out, but tragically saying them out loud to him. Gosh I need to get better at that. I want to be sweeter, kinder, more gentle. Sometimes I come off kinda harsh, and even though thats not who I’m meaning to be it still hurts when words are arranged in a certain way. So..on that note I am trying to change my old ways! Time to be humble, more considerate, maybe not care as much about the little things. It is a trait that has consequently been shadowed down from my father to me. I am the spitting image of his personality….BLUHH. Sorry I think I just threw up a little. That makes me sickk. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would say that. All my life I’ve tried to stay away from his ways of communication, and yet here I am doing the same thing I said I would never do. I could cry. But I won’t. I’m stronger than that! God can help me through all this and guide me towards who he made me to be and break the mold of my families faults. It’s just hard. But what isn’t these days. Nothings handed on a silver platter anymore. This new relationship is just starting to work its way into my life, my thoughts, my actions, my words, and especially my heart!  Its so fun to use the word boyfriend! Im obsessed. Haha. What’s even better is when they ask who and I get the pleasure of showing him off as the smile on my face ceases to ever show signs of leaving! Gosh the more I’m to myself the more I think about him. What he’s doing. Where he’s at. What he’s thinking about. Ridiculous right? What’s even scarier is I can kinda….alright no judgement here, or am I literally speaking…but just hypothetically, I could kinda see myself with him the rest of my life. Woahh now is right! I just went there. And yes so soon. Its been like what, a month? Absurd. I may or may not have gone crazy. Outta mah mind! But I just feel so comfortable, and safe, and loved! All aspects of my future husband. Along with loving Jesus, and my family, and my lifestyle! Oh and Lana Rae!!!! Our new little puppy we got together! Which of course there are picture to come. But like I said…just saying! Haha. If ya’ll have any stories to share hit up the comment box! I’d love to hear! And on that note I will leave you with a goodbye, adios, see ya later homies!

The booth.

Okay so you know those cliche photo strips?! Well I may or may not be obsessed. Haha. Black and white. Vintage. Memories. Happy moments. Spontaneous emotions! Gosh, you just can’t get any better! But sitting in the booth, between the 3 whole seconds they give us to rearrange our faces, so many things started going through my head. The smiles , the laughter, the closeness all seems to be like a dream. somebody pinch me. The sweetness of holding hands and the security of being close all rush through me as if he’ll always be there. Not as just a person to be with, but as a best friend too. Someone I can trust, and count on being there. Someone I tell all my secrets to, confide in, or let go with. Someone who I can be myself around. Someone to be crazy with, or to look at crazy. Getting excited to tell them about your day or just being content not talking at all. It’s the exciting adventure of getting to know every little detail about their past, their everyday, and their plans for ahead. Letting myself open up, to be vulnerable, to be nervous, to be all the normal things that can be. The photo booth pictures seem to be frozen images of the goodness to come. The happiness within me, and the quirkiness of this relationship. All I keep doing is smiling! God is definitely working in me and in this! He is taking me along the path of the long and narrow, but its gonna be so worth it. It feels so comforting. To know that I don’t have to worry or do things on my own. That He has it all planned out already!

new job!

So…lots of exciting things are happening in mah life!
Lemme just catch ya up a little!
Last saturday was our first day back from the beach…sad day.
BUT it was also the same day Wok Hay hired me on as a server!
Whoop whoop!
So since saturday I have been training my butt offff anticipating the grand opening of this new store on wednesday! Ahh, I’m nervous and excited all at the same time. As long as I’m fun…energetic…and friendly…I should be fine right? It’s been grueling though. 12 hour straight training shifts can kinda make you wanna pull your hair out! Especially when they’re doing nothing but talking! Compared to some of the other new servers there I feel like I got this in the bag. But idk. This being my first time ever serving kinda drives me to a corner where in my head everyones picking on me and calling me names. ha. Guess thats just all in my head though! So if you are reading this and live anywhere in the vicinity of turkey creek, please come out and see me! Help lighten the mood! The food is freakin DANK. Ahh, so good! I can say I have successfully tried everything on the menu in the past 48 hours…yah thats right, I gained about 10 pounds in 2 days. Oh well, I’m sure it’ll go straight to my butt anyways. But back to what I was saying…great food, LIVE band, and ME! Other than my new job I feel like God is truly working in my life right now! He is leading me, guiding me, and walking with me! Its so cool to watch the little things He’s doing as he molds into who I am.

FOREVER.

Who I wanna be and who I am.
two completely different people.
I seem to be stuck in the grey area.
I was always told that area is no good,,,
to  stay where I could be seen by others.
to be encouraged, to be loved.
why do I keep straying away.
I’m in LOVE with this man named Jesus.
he brings me hope. joy. peace. and love enduring forever.
who would ever ask for more?
I strive to live in the light of Christ.
to be like Him, to care like Him, to love like Him.
I’m trying my hardest to not fall.
only HE can give me strength.
its so tough at times.
but its those times that I’ve always come out stronger.
I tend to walk the narrow path.
it’s longer.
but I know it’ll take me to where I need to be.
it’ll watch over me.
like a guardian angel.
protect me from the fear.
my fear is the darkness.
I cant take it.
thats when I call His name.
when the lights are off and Im too myself.
to save me from this world.
it feels like forever.
but I know He’s there.
and I know He cares.
the morning will come soon enough.
and that light will shine so bright that everyone will see,
the joy in my heart that will forever be!

LET LOOSE.

Ahh, school is finally paused! Thank you sweet baby Jesus! I’m so excited to just sit around and do absolutely NOTHING! Honestly,,,it might be the best feeling ever! I just love it. I asked for my job to give me as many hours possible that way I’ll be able to just rake in the dough, and on top of that I want to do something different each day of spring break that way I can say it was as enjoyable as I wanted it to be. ha. First day…went to waffle house after work with my little brother. So much fun! I haven’t seen/talked to him in forever! It was nice to catch up and know whats going on in his life! Second day…created a twitter! Haha. Yes, I know. Following right in line right everyone else,,,but WHY NOT! I haven’t lived a day where I’ve had a twitter and now I have! Change of scenery is nice, no facebook for once. The only thing is I have no clue what to say! Ha. I don’t like just posting random things that takes me 15 minutes to think of. Soo, this might not work out! And be deleted as fast as I made it. We’ll see! Third day had waffle night and got krispy kreme doughnuts for the first time from weigels! Haha. Getting crazy right! Geez my life is so adventurous. Fourth day and it is BEA-UTIFUL outside! I’m so excited to just go run some errands and get things done today! whoop whoop. Killin it. I might go to the park and paint, maybe be lame and get some homework done, that way I’m ahead of the game, or go to lunch with my dad! Which now that I think about,,,I have never done! Weird. Nonetheless, today will be GREAT! Cannot wait. I hope to be patient today, and filled with JOY! Love waking up at 7AM when its my first morning to sleep in….and these kids are MAKING MY DAY! :)

my joy!

christmas cheer.

to live. to laugh. to love. HA. so dang cliche! why not just say, be crazy. be funny. and show love to everyone! much better motto. I’ve got the joy joy joy JOY down in my heart, and it’s down in my heart to stay! I’ve been so happy recently and it’s all thanks to our one and only mighty savior and king! He is exalted and lifted high above everyone. It’s kinda nice knowing He’s my safe place. Where nothing can touch or hurt me. That as long as I trust in Him, He is holding me in his arms safe and sound! I should have no fear because He is with me…AT ALL TIMES! Craziness. That’s so considerate and loving of Him! But anywhoo, trusting God with my love life and letting Him take over the steering wheel! Hard move, but smart move! Gotta remember He deserves every single aspect of us, and not only that He wants all of it! I pray for the strength to live according to His word and the desire to do His will. Can’t wait to go down to louisiana! Ahh! Gonna be so much fun. JOY all over the place! I love huge family gatherings, and christmas, and giving presents! Such a happy feeling. It’s not only gonna be great…it’ll be stupenddous! Cannot wait! oh and LOVEEE my tattoo. truly amazing Lord. perfect spot. perfect choice of my handwriting. perfect word. wow!

Baby it’s cold outside!

So the semester has been up and going and the fall months are finally here! I love the summer…long days, the lake, catchin some rays, but I’m also in love with the cold months too. Coffee dates, hot chocolate, brownies and baking cookies are some of the best nights. Along with bundling up in a cute scarf and sitting under a cozy blanket all snuggled up by the fire! I love the changing of the leaves as I go down some of my favorite streets and the smell of bonfires all around. I get simple joy out of listening to christmas carols and jazz as the smell of banana bread muffins fill the kitchen and rooms.  For some reason the cold weather just puts me a great mood! Life is better and I always seem to be happy. Happiness is bliss and laugher=happiness. Idk but for some reason christmas, thanksgiving and all the days in between seem to bring a smile to most peoples’ faces. My goal this semester is to be carefree and crazyy! I want to live life on the edge like there’s no tomorrow. And be able to make other people smile. Why stress when I have nothing to stress about?

FORGET FLYING.

So I definitely like the whole lets be independent, do my own thing, rock this way & talk this way deal. Flying on my own was a good hop, skip, and jump towards being my own individual! Lovee it! And by lovee it I’m talkin bout becoming my own person! The plane ride on the other hand, was a trip. Wow. Officially hate the whole air system. So confused on what I can bring, how many things I can bring, and how to frickin bring it! Then stand-by is a pain in the butt. Lord have mercy on my sweet sweet soul! Haha. None of the flight attendants were of any help. They treated me like I was 12 and dealt with me last! I wanted to punch someone in the face. Not that I’m a violent person. But they needed to wipe that nasty smirk off they’re face and humble themselves. I hate people who act like they’re better than me. No thank you! Won’t. let. it. happen. We are equally the same person fool. So the first plane ride was at five in the morning. Major fail! It was dark, gloomy, cold and there were only like ten people aboard the entire plane! Ha. Kinda sketch. Then comes my second destination! The good ole Charlotte airport. Not only was my terminal ten times bigger than knoxville’s little terminals, but there were 5 gateways all containing 30 terminals! Hahah holy cow! And my luck…I needed to be all the way in E! The very last one. Lovely! So as I manage my way through all the crowds of people at 7 o’clock in the morning…I hear this loud annoying beeping sounds that won’t get outta my head! At first I thought it was just one of those times where you try and hit your head to make that faint ringing tone disappear. Oh no…this was definitely a loud, annoying holler saying watch out, move out of the way! I turn around not only to see who was screaming, but to be almost trampled on as those handicap carts try and run me over! And this proceeded to happen twice! Haha my life, only my life. So finally after 2 and a half hours of waiting for my flight I am sitting on the plane. Everyone is still, calm and collected until the guy beside me screams man I love flying. Hahaha. Of all the people to sit beside me I get the talking, talking, and more talking one. Seriously, no one on the plane was talking but me and this guy. It was a little ridiculous. And I felt like people were getting mad because the pitch in his voice was raised like 10 levels too high! Finally we land. Whew! No more crazy guy talking. Then I get off the plane to enter the wonderful world of louisiana! Ran into my cousin waiting for her plane. Weird! Haha. Then go to call my aunt to tell her I had arrived and where I would be waiting and of course, My phone’s dead! HA. HA. HA. All I did was laugh. Now I’m safe and sound in my grandma’s house livin it up with the cousins. Eating some yummy fried pickles and having screwballs! Ahh, the life! :)

LOVE.

He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not. I’m sure at some point in our lives we have all done this. Just for fun of course! Because never in a million years would we base whether our guy loves us or not based on pedals from a flower! Right? Or maybe we would…my  theme starts to become should I be with him, should I not, Is it good for me, is it not? Why is love so freakin complicated!! How am I supposed to know who’s right for me? Is God going to tell me? Gosh I sure do hope so! Haha. I honestly think it’ll somewhat be like the movies where I get this ancy warm nervous feeling inside and all I can think about is him. Not to a point where is consumes my life, but enough to make me actually WANT to be with him. haha. Because with me I love the chase, the thrill, the whole adventure and journey of getting the guy to like you….but once I have em’ I dont want em’. As weird as that is! Ha. Once they want me and start texting me non stop is when I tend to not care anymore and dont really feel the need to hangout, cause I honestly dont want to! So I’m just waiting for that ONE PERFECT ONE! To just sweep me off my feet and make me smile without even realizing a have that cute little smirk grinning up my cheeks! Ahh! I cant wait!

FAITH.

“Now faith is being being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Hebrews 11:1

God I have faith in you each and everyday! I trust in you with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding! You are the way the truth and the life, and nothing can come between us! You are a miracle worker and a healer!  You make all things new! Your words are like water to my soul and I thirst for you! I want you to be there each and everyday guiding me through the paths you want me to take! Please help me God to decipher right from wrong or what is good for me and what is not! Cause many times i have fallen from not leaning on you and relying that you have me in your hands at all times! It’s like your just sitting there holding this precious new born baby trying to be oh so careful that  she doesn’t awaken! Thats how I picture  you holding me Lord. I can’t wait to be out of the sickened world that has been so confused and brain washed by media, the news, politics, schools, friends, music. I want to LIVE for YOU! Not just talk to you every now and then, or say a prayer or two…but to truly live for you! Make everything I do a step towards you! I want to mirror you! I people to look and be like wow, why is she so happy? Why isn’t she getting mad over that? What does she have that I don’t? How could she just not care about money, bills, time, boys, her social life? That’s who I want to be! Someone who has given everything up to God and it totally and fully reliant on HIM! Someone who trusts without a doubt that he has a plan and that it’s all under control! Go today and live fearlessly! Give abundantly! Laugh loudly! Don’t worry or stress! As long as you’ve given it all to Him, He’s gonna take care of you! Promise!

……this is my prayer to you!

STAND OUT!

::PAUSE ON MY LIFE::
I want to STAND OUT!
I want to be different!
I want people to notice me in this world!
Not just for being someone who doesn’t follow the trend.
For being a Christian who is in love with Jesus and everyone can tell!
I want that light to radiate off of me!
I want people to say why is she so happy?
I want people to want what I have!
Not as in material things of this world.
For the LOVE and JOY Jesus brings us because we are living for him!
I want to make a change!
I want to make a difference!
I want to impact people by the way I live!
From this point forward I am going to rethink the way I walk…
I’m not gonna sit around and wait for something to happen.
SOMETHING BIG!
I’m going to start “walking out” what Jesus has planned for me!
I’m going to change the way I live!
It’s not gonna be easy…and I’m not perfect!
I’m gonna make mistakes. I’m gonna fall.
But God’s gonna pull be back up stronger than I was before!
This is it!
Here we go world!
Please pray for me and tell me if you have any thoughts!
::PLAY::